


karmagisa youtuber au

by minorproblems



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Akabane Karma Needs a Hug, Angst, Asano Gakushuu Needs A Hug, BL, Everyone Needs A Hug, Fanfiction, Fluff, High School, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Implied/Referenced Suicide, KARUNAGI, Karma x asano, KarmaXNagisa, LGBTQ, M/M, Mental Health Issues, No Smut, Shiota Nagisa Needs a Hug, SocialMediaAu, YouTube, Youtuber - Freeform, Youtuber AU, karmagisa - Freeform, karushuu, there are a lot of head canons thrown into this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 16:12:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 28,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29544969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minorproblems/pseuds/minorproblems
Summary: one year after becoming friends on discord, karma hosts a collaboration with social media influencers after making a promise to nagisa. yet as the chaotic december month comes to an end, karma and nagisa realise they aren't just friends. they both know this. but why is it so painful to fall in love with someone, when you still can't forgive yourself with... him?
Relationships: Akabane Karma & Shiota Nagisa, Akabane Karma/Asano Gakushuu, Akabane Karma/Shiota Nagisa, Chiba Ryuunosuke/Hayami Rinka, Isogai Yuuma/Maehara Hiroto, Kanzaki Yukiko/Sugino Tomohito
Kudos: 17





	1. i promise

**Author's Note:**

> i apologise for this story, it was something i wrote when i was going through a lot, and if my first time writing something... so excuse just- everything :)  
> it takes a while to overlook, edit, and read everything- so i apologise if there are any mistakes, i try to correct everything but a lot slips, especially when im juggling multiple chapters, and information gets messy- it's definitely more difficult as english isn't my first language.  
> but none the less- i hope you enjoy!

perhaps it was not normal to cry yourself to sleep every night.

nagisa knew it was getting bad again, when staring at the bedroom ceiling became more familiar than admiring superhero posters, scattered around the room.

he had no reason to feel this way, yet nagisa's hope was swallowed within the shadows.

darkness was a greater friend than the ones who were currently blasting notifications onto a dimly illuminated computer screen. sometimes, the company of darkness was fun: the crescent moon would gently cast through this bluenette's bedroom window, like a romantic spotlight accompanying both of them. however, despite their frequent dates, the two have never spoken.  
its unusual. they have known each other for a long time now. instead of friendly childhood conversations to catch-up, darkness witnesses inaudible crying that escapes nagisa's eyes every night, standing there with hands around his mouth, suffocating him.

the computer's notifications deafened his ears.

nagisa let out a groan, grabbing a pillow, smothering it over his face. once again, silent screams scraped up the sides of his throat prior to escaping his mouth. the blue haired teen's nails dug into the pillow before being projected to the other side of his room, ripping a poster from the wall. the palms of his hands depressed his eyes; he laid there motionlessly, heavy breathing softly brushing his skin. a feint smell of cold dinner sat at the foot of his bed, which watched his body scramble within his bedsheets.

the computer silenced, he listened to the rain trickling down his window. most people don't like the rain. yet nagisa loved it, as those nights laying in bed with tears crying down his face. he finally didn't feel alone. the sky was crying with him.

nagisa turned his head slowly with a longing sigh. he sat up, hair fell in front of his azure eyes; homely bedsheets hugged his chest. while throwing bedsheets back, the young adult exposed his body to the still winter atmosphere which was sitting in his room. nagisa's feet met the bitter, isolated, nippy bedroom floor before slouching in his chair, rolling over the uneven floorboards.

his hand dragged through the air before blanketing the mouse. stinging brightness was blinding. clicks of the mouse echoed into the darkness as he severely squinted, opening up the chat room that flung notifications at him. nagisa's eyes scanned the screen. his brain screamed to not join the call. yet he did

"who's onli- oh, hey nagisa! it's been a while." kayano's voice eagerly sprung up. "s-sorry did you just wake up?"

"oh hey kaede." he gave a wimpy smile. "i've just had a long day, that's all."

"you haven't been on the server recently, everything been going okay?" she asked, tilting her head. her golden eyes looked up to the screen, glistening as they drooped with concern.

"yeah, don't worry about me."nagisa gritted his teeth, echoes of his mother screeched in the kitchen. breaths exhaled deeply while he fiddled with the mouse.

nagisa turned eighteen merely half a year ago, since then, everything crashed. he was expected to move out the summer of which he turned legal age; however, within a blink of an eye, december rolled around and there was still no sign of leaving the shadow of his mother. despite this: perhaps the young adult's goal was in reach. the accumulation of money from social media was at an all time high. moving out wasn't as far out of sight as he imagined.

"oh i'm unsure if you have seen, but we actually have a new member in the serv-" kayano's joyful tone was cut off by the slam of a door, the familiar rustle of headphones echoed on the other end.

"i'm back." a voice coughed.

"karma! great timing." kayano chimed. "nagisa just joined, he was who i was talking about."

"karma?" nagisa muttered under his breath, gazing up towards the screen. the blue haired teen met eyes with a red head, his bronze eyes glistened in the sunlight.

"nice to meet you chief." he smirked, revealing sharp canines hidden by soft lips.

nagisa's eyes widened. "red devil!?" he shouted, chucking his headphones off oh his head; pushing his chair backwards as it skidded across the old floorboard, causing the blunette to fall forwards.

"nagisa- wait are you okay...nagisa!?" kayano called through the screen.

"y-you too." nagisa stared at the floor: frozen. silent mumbles left his lips. he exhaled before the strength rushed through his bones to meet the red head in the eye once more.

karma laughed, leaning back in his own chair eyes clenching shut. "shit dude! i wasn't expecting that."

"i- i'm sorry i really wasn't expe- i wasn't expecting to meet you. you- out of all people." nagisa laughed, "so your name is karma..." nagisa whispered, resting the headphones back onto his head, putting his hand over his mouth in disbelief of the youtuber on the screen in front of him.

karma was a youtuber known as 'red devil' who started producing content in spring earlier of the same year. he started gaining followers and soon became one of the fastest rising channels on the platform. and although nagisa wouldn’t admit it himself, he’s a huge fanboy of red devil’s content. 

・・・★ ・・・

the trio talked until the sun was slipping under the horizon, eventually, kayano had to leave: leaving nagisa and karma alone on the call.

"you're eighteen, right?" nagisa asked, pulling at the strings of his hoodie.

"seventeen. i'm a third year." karma responded, sipping some strawberry milk.

""so am i" he chuckled, "i can't believe we're graduating so soon."

"hey nagisa?" karma questioned, resting his chin upon his hand, admiring the screen in front of him. "how come you don't show your face in videos?"

"you've seen my content..?" the blue haired boy scratched his neck.

"ehh? of course i have." karma smiled. "seriously chief, i don't care what you say, your videos are amazing- and i usually listen to your music while editing- when's the next song going to be dropped?"

"i- i'm not sure." he scratched the side of his face. "i've got so many ideas for songs but- i just havent had any motivation to record. and just- th- thank you." nagisa hesitated. "i guess i just don't like how feminine i look. it's stupid- i know." his fingers passed through his hair, which was messily tied up on either side of his head. "i guess that... i've just gotten used to how long my hair is"

karma raised an eyebrow, forehead wrinkling as he leaned away from the computer screen. "hey, why can't you just cut it?"

"i'm planning to.. i'm just not allowed to until i move out." the bluenette sighed.

"so you still live with your parents?"

"my mother- yes. i'm hoping to move out after graduation... and then i'll be able to cut my hair. i just don't have the money yet." he smiled with a sigh, arms stretched upwards, as his left hand gently caressed the other arm, sliding down it.

"i'd just cut my hair anyways.. " karma stuck out his tongue slightly, "whatever my parents think, doesn't really matter to me."

"disobeying my mom is like being put in the same cage as a hungry predator."

"oh hey nagisa, you should come to my place, get away from that mother of yours. it would be awesome to make content with you. my parents are never home those bastards just travel all the time, so there's always spare rooms. why don't we ask kayano too?"

"that would be a dream." nagisa smirked.

karma's eyes wandered ,"ah shit- i've missed a bunch of voice mails from my boyfriend- i've got to get going."

"boyfriend...?" nagisa muttered, staring directly at the screen, the light illuminating his face dimmed.

karma smiled "we will meet one day chief, i promise."


	2. the night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !! su!cide attempt/ s3xual assault warning !!  
> i sincerely apologise-.

karma knew something was bad. but he didn't expect it to be... this bad.  
the rain drizzled down karma's nose, water perfectly settling on his eyelashes. his clothes were soaked, dragging his body to the ground as his golden eyes met a drunken strawberry blonde collapsed in a hallway, illuminated by feeble lights.

"gakushu... what have you done?" karma mumbled, his legs tumbled forward; his heart plummeted into his stomach. karma placed his hands under his boyfriend’s arm, wrapping asano’s frigid body around his shoulder. the wind slammed the door shut as the rain continued crying down the windows. "you bastard- you're drunk." he sighed as they stumbled through tenebrous hallways.

all that the red head could gather the strength for was to caringly stutter under his own breath. "this is nothing like you, you idiot." he sat asano down onto the bed, hand layered on his forehead, pushing back hair which blinded his boyfriend's eyes. asano’s drowsy purple eyes weakly quivered as he placed his head into the crevice of karma's neck.

"karma- i cant do this." he muttered. "i can't keep going like this. it's just becoming insufferable. i'm not me. i'm just a minion of my s-stupid father... and it will always stay that way." his arms flailed around karma's neck, his head got heavier on the red head’s shoulder.

karma softly spoke, hugging him tight. "you dont need to keep living in the shadow of that bastard... take it from me, you're talented: physically and academically. heck you can speak multiple languages. you have so many opportunities for the future, so don't you dare give up now. especially right before we graduate high school. that would be a shitty idea." asano's eyes met karma's as the red head softly cupped his cheeks with his hands. asano's speech slurred, as his eyes travelled downwards, his rather cold hand caressed the contour's of karma's body.

"hey karma... do me a favour.." he slowly slid his finger along karma's belt.

"woah.." karma backed away, his foot was blanketed in suffocating sheets. "you're insane- hang on chief, you're not thinking properly." asano's violet eyes reflected in the darkness.

"karma-" he maffled. asano's fingers traced along the red head's leg, as he crawled closer. their foreheads met before asano's lips caressed the red head. karma froze. he broke away as the back of his hand kissed his own lips.

" all i can taste is alcohol- you- you've drank so much." karma stuttered, unwrapping his leg from the covers. his body hung over the edge of the bed as karma's heart thudded through the imprisonment of his ribs

"please karma." he grabbed onto the red head's shirt, his finger traced his waist while nipping at the fabric. karma batted his hand away aggressively before standing up. his glare stained the room. asano slouched you before grabbing his boyfriend's waist: his weak grip tightening, drawing karma closer, causing asano’s head to rest upon karma's back. "at least- stay with me a bit longer." he was shaking. asano's arm furtively wrapped around karma's waist, pulling him close to his chest.

a sigh escaped karmas mouth before sitting on the edge of the bed.

"what were you doing before i arrived... why did you get drunk. i don't think that's the only thing you've done gakushu." karma gnawed his cheek, golden eyes tracing asano's body. "and don't fuck around with me now, this is important."

"me? i just-" the room dripped with silence, the rain continued to trickle down the glass. "i just- cant deal with... with him.. with just anything anymore."

"so then why drink- was this all a way to rebel against him... and just try to not remember any of this pain?" karma asked, turning towards the strawberry blonde, their fingers interlocked in front of them.

"mhm."

"i thought you were supposed to be smart, you haven't thought this through... you could have died, baby."

"i know-" he softly mumbled, karma's body annealed, staring at the flowing veins concealed by bleak skin on asano's hand.

"gakushu... you..."

"i'm sorry" he looked away, the room reeked with silence before karma's muscles tensed, asano's hand slid around his body, he kissed his neck, warm breathing caressing his skin.

"i don't think you should be doi-"

"it's okay... trust me, karma."

"i trust you. just not now.. not while you're like this."

"come on." asano sloppily smiled, turning karma's head, his mercury gold eyes lost in the darkness. all karma could taste was a bitter tongue, his heart slammed against his chest as he felt asano's warm, yet cold hands stroke the side of his face. it was sloppy, nevertheless the strawberry blonde pulled away with a smile. he trembled with a grit in his teeth, as he grabbed onto karmas shirt, air struggled down karma's chapped throat before he was pushed backwards.

"asano you- you you don't want to do this" asano's hand tightly gripped karma's wrist.

"last name bias huh?" the strawberry blonde chuckled, as he twisted karma's hand to meet his back. the red head wailed in pain. "come on- you want me to be happy don't you?" karma struggled, his clammy hands and body kicked around, yet he felt his boyfriend's leg push his back downwards on the bed. "come on then, akabane..." he whispered into his ear. the red heads eyes clenched shut.

・・・★ ・・・

karma's bandaged wrist mourned with pain, his hand raised slowly on his bare chest. his eyes admired the ceiling as air finally slid down his throat clearly. he turned his head with a groan and picked up his phone.

groggy bloodshot eyes stuck out of their sockets, every organ in his body shot to his feet, he exposed his body to the cold winter air, struggling to thrust clothes back onto his body. he flinched in pain, his knees breaking each time the clock ticked, before stumbling through the hallways. the bitter wind suffocated his lungs, trapped by his small bruised ribs.

his fingers started turning blue, yet he kept running, his legs kept collapsing of agonising pain, nevertheless, the streetlights cheered him on. adrenaline flooded through his veins , as he ran into the isolated city. every breath grazed down his throat, slicing his lungs with bitter glacial air. karma approached a corner, his wrist flinched as he hunched over, panting. the teen's golden eyes scanned the darkness as the bridge illuminated in the distance.  
time tapped inside of his brain, shaking his head vigorously, screaming at him to keep running. nails grazed from his skull to his thighs. he stumbled into the darkness, until the illuminating bridge towered over him. panting left his frozen lips, as his fingers traced his warm breath. he stared into the bitter night, as a feint silhouette in the distance gazed back. through agonising groans, he approached closer, violet eyes cried in pain.

asano stood at the edge of the bridge, his hair thrown about by the wind.

"gakushu you- don't want to do this." he heaved, car lights stained their vision. "i forgive you okay! i'm begging you, let's go back home... together."

"i'm just causing everyone pain, wouldn't it be better if they could live their lives without me? look at what i’ve done to you! i'm just a minion of that old bastard! what has my life come to! asano projected a cold-blooded laugh into the darkness. he didn't want to experience the pain of death, but somehow the pain of living seemed worse. because maybe death hurt less than life.

karma tried racing forward, yet got thrown backwards as traffic screeched. "please i- i love y-"

"stop. i'm a monster in a humans body. all i've done is caused you pain, so wouldn't you be happier for me to let go?" asano pulled a barbarous smile, swinging lackadaisically "oh i'm so happy it's been raining... so so happy." he grinned peering at the crashing waves below as he smote his forehead "look at me now, karma! " his teeth gritted, preventing tears from dripping down his face. "your future will be better now, right?" he raised his hands towards his head, hair being caressed by the wind. "do you see my hands? are you sure you want to hold a creature's hand for the rest of your life? if you really love me, then come grab my hand as we fall to the depths of hell!"

he smiled deeply as he plummeted backwards. the cars shrieked as karma ran across the road, his knees crunching with pain as he wailed into the night. karma's hand grazed his boyfriend's cold skin, as he watched asano's body evaporate into the fog.

karma launched into the railing, his body flailing to grasp the falling body, yet he collapsed past the barrier: his body started falling to ocean.the world became silent, a shattered heart slammed against bruised ribs which screamed in his ear. every organ fluttered before his eyes silently stirred at the ocean below. realisation pierced his stomach.

he was going to die.

his body became weightless as the wind grazed by his face, red hair blinding his eyes, they flickered closed as screams from above disintegrated. the fog hazed his vision as he plummeted further into the shadows, the world turned dark.

"i guess i'll be seeing you on the other side-, gakushu." karma smiled, organs ripping to his skull as he demolished into the river below.


	3. the meeting

"oh excuse me." nagisa mumbled as the busy atmosphere erupted in the room. he struggled through the crowds, eyes grazed the map which jittered in his hands. the noise suffocated his chest. "sorry!" he wailed weakly.

"nagisa?" a voice muttered from the deafening rustle.

the bluenette turned. he stumbled backwards as elbows thrusted his shoulders, everyone tried to get seats as they threw him around like a football. yet he met the eyes of a tall red head, towering over everyone. "k-karma?" he stuttered, falling backwards. karma snatched his wrist, preventing the crowd sweeping the short bluenette away. the red head held him close: protecting him from the chaos

"woah i never expected to see you here!" karma chuckled, the overwhelming noise stabbed them, fans started pointing like arrows piercing their skin.

"hey, come with me. it'll be a lot quieter" he nodded his head over to the curtain, pulling nagisa through the crowd; flinging him a lanyard. nagisa shoved it over his head before a guard plodded in front of the midnight black curtain halted their escape.

they breathed heavily, smiles exchanged on the other side. "weird way for us to finally meet chief." he panted. "but its great to meet you in person" karma's sharp canines cracked through his smile.

"you're alive?" nagisa's hands rested on his knees, before he stretched, clenching his eyes shut. "like you're actually real?"

"eh? of course i'm real." he smirked. "i actually live nearby- the hosts of the convention asked me to host the next panel."

"i swore i saw your name, i thought i was just imagining things." nagisa puffed looking up.

"why are you all the way out at a convention huh, especially one in tokyo? this is quite far from your side of the woods isn't it? " they started walking through the rather tranquil area; despite it still buzzing with famous creators. they winded down at a refreshment area, gulping down drinks like animals.

"i always try to come out to a convention every year, i'm a big fan of superhero movies, but i love seeing other people's works and analysing them. and when i heard there was going to be an increase of youtube creator's hosting, i just had to come and check it out." he smiled, "i'm so happy i managed to get away from home."

"that sounds like you." karma smiled, wiping his mouth as his hand crumpled the plastic cup, dropping into the garbage.

"i-it's great to hear from you." nagisa grinned, before his face carpeted in a white expression. "i was getting worried-it felt like you just vanished from this earth"

karma paused for a couple seconds his muscles freezing like ice. his eyes dodging nagisa's patent expression.

karma and nagisa first met a year ago, however after the night they met, red devil's uploads came to a hault. as they stumbled further into the winter months and the cherry blossoms fell closer to graduation, no one heard from karma in months. 

"i- i'm sorry- i shouldn't have mentioned anything and butt into your personal life- i was just getting worried and i'm glad to hear from you!" nagisa stuttered, his hands frantically panicking, flapping nervously.

"it's okay shorty- don't worry about that." karma unveiled his forehead under his blush tinted hair " it's my fault for randomly disappearing off the face of earth for nine months." he sighed. "come on can i introduce you to someone?" he ruffled the bluenette's hair.

nagisa chuckled, "absolutely!"

they floundered along the carpeted area, as nagisa admired every inch of the room. karma's finger met his lips, as he highlighted a blonde haired girl fiddling with her camera; her beryl eyes subtly admiring the pizza boxes dotted on the table. karma's toes lightly graced the floor, as his hands clasped her shoulders.

"karma!" she shrieked, hitting him repetitively while the red head erupted into laughter. "you son of a bit-"

"so anyways id like you to meet rio." he chimed, leaning on her chair.

"karma you bastard." she grumbled, her accent was somewhat foreign, yet it was stirred in with vast language skills. "hey there, i'm rio nakamura." she grinned. "i've known karma since middle school, so i guess we've got some chemistry."

"and he's blue anaconda." karma pointed over to nagisa with a grin.

"holy crap- no way that you're him?" nakamura slapped the red head leaning on her, grabbing onto his clothes, dragging them between her fingers. "shit sorry! i've listened to your music- and i knew you had such a vast vocal range that so many people think you're a female recording artist- but i wasn't actually expecting you to look feminine at all!"

"right- i-i'm nagisa shiota" his face tinted pink. "however you can just call me by my given name"

"i don't know who i was expecting but- damn! so this is the nagisa you were talking about- eh karma?" nakamura smirked. " wait- shouldn't you be getting ready?" nakamura asked, looking at her watch.

"ah shit- how long have i got?" karma patted his body down, frantically searching for his phone.

nakamura chuckled, "don't worry you've got a little bit of time. it's your first appearance in months- ain't the pressure squeezing that tiny little brain of yours? how are you feeling?"

"feeling?" he raised an eyebrow, turning to the blonde. "i'm fine, you're seriously acting more scared than i am chief, your face is wrinkling like an old woman. keep it that way and you'll stay like that forever."

"i'm sorry but i can't hear your bullshit." she smiled. "i really hate you sometimes."

"you know you don't." he smirked. "i just think people are going to swarm with excitement over this announcement."

"an announcement?" nagisa repeated.

"karma- they're calling for you." nakamura pointed towards the stage.

"ah i never told you, but i'll tell you the details when i'm done." karma waved off, trotting over to the stage, “meet me in section 3 after the panel, and i’ll tell you!” he called, his body enveloped within the midnight black curtain. nakamura shouted with best wishes as the rumbling atmosphere erupted. the floor thundered. fangirls screeched.

nakamura mumbled with a smile. "you know-" she smiled slouching down into the chair, "i forget just how popular karma is... even after taking a nine month break- he’s still as popular as ever."


	4. strawberry, blueberry

"we will meet one day chief, i promise."

karma’s words still echoed in nagisa's head, and yet disbelief still stained his mind while admiring the red head with a smile. everything was coming true as they ambled across the driveway. his heart somewhat crashed against his chest.

to most of his fans surprise, karma took to twitter to announce that he decided to attend the local tokyo comic con that was being hosted, mostly as a comeback. during the panel he got asked to host, he never explained the break he took; however, it was revealed that he would be collaborating with other youtubers and social media stars over winter. once his fans found out that their favourite influencers were going to be under the same roof, it was chaos.

the concrete crunched under their feet, karma's house towered over them. perhaps 'house' was an understatement. the dwelling estate was an aesthetic masterpiece, lights illuminated within the deep glass which reflected the hazel sun, the soft luminous rays shone beyond the courtyard that was adorned with rather ancient gargoyles, buried in vines: twisting, piercing their necks with deep, overgrown thorns.

nagisa's hands were trembling as he fiddled with his jumper. locks clicked. chains rattled. the door opened. "hey shorty" karma teased as he stepped into the house. "i'm going to put everything my room, we can move them later on."

nagisa's cerulean blue eyes wandered around the room, his mind lost in thought. still dazed in disbelief that his dream was coming true before his eyes. after the panel, karma asked nagisa to join their collaboration, in which he accepted. it came to an agreement that nagisa wouldn't go back home, and rather stay at karma's house until everyone else arrived.

he admired the high ceilings with a hanging chandelier as he watched karma escalate up the spiraling staircase. the walls were painted with art and strangely shaped mirrors, small exotic pieces from around the world were trapped behind glass cases. he fiddled with his phone before resting it on his ear. his mumbles echoing. a familiar, hellish voice cracked through the speakers

"karma!" nagisa squealed, feeling a cold hand on his shoulder; his heart thundered against his chest.

karma erupted into laughter, grabbing his stomach, "you're so easy to startle."

"you're just too sneaky." nagisa smiled, panting softly. karma let out a small laugh once more, the two boys couldn't stop smiling. "i was just on the phone to my mom, she's sending my stuff over immediately."

"awesome- hey since its still early in the day- we've got a bunch of time- let me show you something." karma jolted his head towards the other side of the house. he pushed nagisa along the rooms as they joked through the halls. they continued through the house until karma's hand met the handle of a tinted glass door, sliding it to the left revealing a balcony overlooking a paranormal landscape, trees shaded the path descending down into a picturesque beach. salty ocean air tingled their noses from the balcony, clashing with the small cold nip from the december wind.

nagisa's eyes lit up as he admired the view, his body launched into the railing. his smile widened, nagisa looked back towards karma, yet the red head's expression dropped dead. "hey.. k-karma- are you okay?" the bluenette asked as he exchanged glances towards him, karma's face whitened. as he shook his head, red hair falling into his eyes.

"come on, slowpoke" karma chimed as he passed by nagisa, descending down the path as their toes started to swim through soft grains of sand. they stopped once the ocean crashed against karma's ankles.

"not many people come around here, usually just photographers that like to come by for the rare shoreline in these areas." karma beamed. "they can't get access to the beach though, this is private property my parents own." nagisa walked closer to karma as the cold ocean swept against him, causing him to slip. "woah watch out there blueberry!" karma grabbed his arm, helping his balance.

"blueberry?" nagisa raised an eyebrow, chuckling.

"you look like a blueberry." he replied, looking out to the ocean.

"if i'm a blueberry, then you're a strawberry."

karma laughed "strawberry ey?"

"you literally drank strawberry milk the first time i talked to you" nagisa snickered as karma's hand was still holding him up by the arm. the red head admired the surroundings as he let go when the crashing blue sea was distant. the bluenette looked up to him, a little confused in his change of gesture.

"what's with that look?" karma asked while letting out a final laugh. his fingers wandered down to nagisa's hand. "come on then, blueberry." he derided, pulling him by the hand, toes sinking into the sand as they strode along the beach. "if we continue along, there's a path at the edge, that will circle us back to my house."

"i never even knew there were places like this around here." nagisa commented, "i'd love to live here!" the blue haired teen smiled, letting out a small laugh. "i bet it looks more beautiful during the summer."

"the beach suits you, you reflect your own name." he pointed out, meeting nagisa's azure eyes, staring deeply before he turned away with a chuckle.

nagisa's eyes sparkled, admiring the sea. a cyan wave crashed towards the shore; knocking against their ankles. nagisa slipped from karma's grasp as the wave pushed him over. it engulfed them as they fell to the ground. nagisa heaved and coughed from the water. karma's hand grasped the sand, his body over nagisa's, protecting the sea from swallowing them.

"a- are you okay? karma stuttered, slamming his hand against his chest.

"karma, the real question is are you okay?" nagisa exclaimed, sitting karma down on the sand as the blue haired boy helped him catch his breath. the salty water was like sandpaper against their throats, heavy breathing escaped the boys mouths as they stayed still for a moment.

"i'm fine, just got water in my lungs." karma laughed, heaving between breaths. "wow chief, i'm surprised you didn't get swept away from that." he smirked. nagisa sulked.

despite the cold nip in the air, harsh sunlight radiated off nagisa's back, his smile shone like the sun. nagisa's hair caressed his shoulders after falling from his usual style. after standing up he reached out his hand with a grin. karma grabbed his hand, before sneakily pulling nagisa into the shallow waves. 

"karma that was sneaky!" nagisa shouted after falling to the ground. "you want to play that game?" he snatched karma's shoulders, pushing him to the ground like a snake slithering, attacking him suddenly. karma couldn't focus from the constant laughter escaping his mouth.

"nagisa- " the taller teen laughed. "nagisa!" he repeated, the bluenette's hair dangled into karma's face, somehow with his small body, nagisa was able to keep him pinned to the ground. karma gritted his teeth, letting out a serious scowl, "damn how the hell!" the snake slithered, constricting karma's body down to the ground, bordering on piercing his skin- nagisa's eyes swarmed with bloodlust. only one thought flooded through karma's head.

holy shit. i'm going to die.

the bluenette suddenly stopped, retreating away from the shore, karma tilted his head, his mercury gold eyes followed him with whimpering breaths. a chilly yet refreshing wave covered the red head, he shouted as the wave withdrew back into the ocean. karma stood up as the boys breathing heavily escaped the smirks on their faces.

"that was cruel" karma panted, shivering.

"hey, call it karma." nagisa smiled

"you seriously just didn't do that."

"but yes i did." nagisa sneered. karma turned away. the boys walked along the beach, clothes dripping wet.

"let's go back to dry ourselves off. it's so chilly, fortunately the sun is giving is a bit of hea-

"karma?" nagisa questioned

"yes?"

"nothing, never mind." he hesitated as the december wind passed through nagisa's hair, "i wish i could just stay here forever."

karma grinned, "is that so huh?"


	5. i'm sorry, nagisa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm aware that legal drinking age in japan is twenty! however it was something that completely skipped my mind while doing research, and i automatically connected it to eighteen- the same age as my country. but i am also aware this drinking age in japan is being lowered to eighteen in a years time! i mean many countries allow at home drinking below this age. so either way- yes i know they shouldn't technically drink- but oh well... i just hope you like it?
> 
> ... its fine. i'm fine. you're fine :)

karma took his shirt off, chucking it into his bed along with nagisa's jumper. "hand me the rest of your clothes, i'll dry them downstairs" he stated, chucking a towel towards nagisa's face, alongside some of his own spare clothes, ere turning to open a door to his closet, scanning the large wardrobe in the room next to him. his fingers fondling the fabric.

nagisa unbuttoned his undershirt, he hung it over karma's bed frame as he made his way over to the cabinet sitting next to the entrance. he unclipped the chain dangling from his belt dropping it onto the counter

"so you really are a dude, huh?" karma frightened him teasingly as he grasped the bluenette's undershirt in his hands. nagisa turned around to see karma towering over him, his jaw widened.

"na-gi-sa" karma chuckled, waving his hand in front of his face. nagisa fell backwards in surprise.

"s-sorry." he pulled a hesitant smile, scratching his neck.

"don't look at me like that!" karma laughed "hand me your jeans." karma grasped a remote firmly in his hand, fiddling with the buttons. the projector hanging above his bed blared onto the wall, a blank canvas bursting with life.

karma reached down towards his console and lightly threw two controllers onto the bed, looking back up to the blunette. "if i'm not back upstairs, feel free to start playing something." the red head grabbed his own shirt as nagisa unbuckled his belt that was firmly tightened around his waist. he struggled his jeans off. nagisa seized the rim of the cabinet which was watching him stumble off balance; finally handing them to karma who grinned, leaving the room.

the blue haired teen grabbed the fresh clothes- more specifically, a shirt and a pair of shorts. a little baggy but it worked. he peered into a small mirror on the wall, while passing his hand through his wet, messy blue hair. the bluenette tied it up into a low ponytail hastily, letting strands fall into his face. he smirked, turning towards the bed. nagisa hesitantly grabbed the controllers, settling in front of the bed with his legs tightly hugged to his chest. he opened super smash bro's, tilting his head playfully as the game loaded.

after a while, the door suddenly opened. karma paused at the door. "you look cute-" his sharp fangs were visible as he smirked.

"i- thanks.." the bluenette blushed slightly. karma sat behind the nagisa as he climbing onto the bed.

"i've been playing computers for too long, i need someone new to slaughter." he sadistically laughed, snagging the second controller.

"i'm not going down that easily!" nagisa paused. as he turned away, a shiver ran through his body before suddenly sneezing.

"woah, you aren't getting sick or anything?"

"i'm fine- just the sea water i guess," he gave a little chuckle which burned his lungs as a couple of coughs escaped his mouth. karma bounced from his bed, scurrying through a pile of clothes deserted at the bottom of the wardrobe. he clenched a red hoodie in his hands, admiring the soft fabric as he sighed.

"here, put it on. i don't want you to get sick, i can't murder you in super smash bro's if you're sick, can i?" he grinned as nagisa grabbed the hoodie from his hand. "it's probably going to be a bit big on you. but you keep it. honestly i don't want to have it at the bottom of my wardrobe anymore."

nagisa donned the hoodie as he threw it over his head, his arms reached through the sleeve, blanketing him, the extra material from the sleeves flopped around, his hands like a small dinosaur. karma's laugh's echoed from behind him, as the bluenette pushed the sleeves up, ready to challenge each other to a match.

・・・★ ・・・

hours passed, the sun gently stained the bedsheets as it slipped through the blinds.

"dang! you're too good at this" karma shouted, flailing his arms into the air as the screen blackened. "why don't we call it a night- we could grab a drink, do some shots?" he added, turning the game off and springing from the bed.

"that sounds good." the bluenette stood up, the boys raced through the dimly lit halls, once they descended down the staircase, a right turn met their eyes with two rooms conjoined together. a tv hung on the wall, with seating areas swarming it like an audience. the tinted glass stared back at the boys, mirroring their reflections as it calmed the glaze of the setting sun. as you entered these rooms, to the right was a kitchen and a mini bar, with stools lined up like soldiers. further into the room laid a small closed off space that enveloped in darkness, flashing lights interrupted the silence of this room at night, revealing arcade games, pool tables and even bean bags.

karma slid a glass bottle along the kitchen counter, two glasses balanced between his fingers as he handed one to nagisa.

"to a good evening." karma announced, they sipped the drink, it burned yet the thrill was exhilarating. nagisa caught his breath, wiping his mouth. the sun tumbled beyond the horizon and the lights around the room burst with life, the alcohol's effects struck into the bluenette.

nagisa slouched, head dangling around. they sat on the floor under a kotatsu as he mumbled, "how come it's effecting me so much- and you're just- you're so.. you're pretty ooh pretty." nagisa chuckled, his mouth dropping open.

"i'm pretty?" karma laughed.

"you are very pretty." he repeated, taking another sip, placing it onto the table in front of them. karma slid the drink away from him, glass scratching against the wood.

"maybe you should stop with the alcohol." karma raised an eyebrow, as nagisa whined. "i guess that you'd be lightweight but you got tipsy real quick. i'm guessing you haven't eaten much today- poor kid."

"hey karma-" the bluenette paused. "who coming...?" he asked, slouching on the backrest.

"for the collaboration? well- kayano is bringing some of her friends. i know an old friend from school, manami is joining us as well as rio." he looked upwards at the blank ceiling, face scrunching. "isogai and maehara are joining us, oh sugino too."

"no way-" nagisa leaned in closer to karma. "you mean- the world renowned baseball player?" his jaw dropped to the floor, "i get to see him again!"

"again?" karma questioned.

"yeah- tomohito- he- he's one of my best friends! we went to middle school together."

"then why did you act so excited like you've never met him before!? the redhead laughed. "you're confusing at times, you know that? oh itona and terasaka."

"woah" nagis'as speech sedated, " i never thought you would even be interested in someone like terasaka!"

"ehh." karma leaned back, "he's a complete muscle idiot, but i guess i respect his influence to others." he smirked, tilting his head. "i've known itona for a lot longer, we went to high school together and we often flunked classes. i haven't seen his content in a while, but i remember he started uploading construction of drones and bots. i think he was expected to compete in a bot fighting tournament over summer."

"woah" nagisa repeated, looking away into the darkness, his mind fogging up like an early wintertide morning.

"nagisa- what's that face all about huh? you look like an idiot!" karma mocked.

"s-sorry. it's just so.. so.. so many people i'd never even imagine to meet are going to be in front of my eyes." his hand stroked the air before him jokingly, nibbling his bottom lip. "what- what if i'm not good enough for any of them?" panic swept through his body.

"oh come on!" karma abruptly interrupted nagisa's mumbles, the bluenette's face dropped. "nagisa you are just as talented as everyone else!"

"but- but they're so good at everything.. and my talents aren't even beneficial for everyday life." he sighed, reaching for his glass, karma pushed him away, his hand covering the bluenette's chest, heart fluctuating against his hand.

"that's bullshit!" he scoffed, clasping nagisa's hoodie between his fingers. karma dragged nagisa towards him then pushing him backwards. karma towered over nagisa yet they were so close that they could feel their breathing on each other's skin, karma tightened his grasp around the neckline. his vision was blurry. nagisa's face bleached. his heart slammed through his chest as karma felt his own organs plummet to his stomach. nagisa cluelessly looked at karma's golden tinted eyes, the red head's breathing thickened as he froze, admiring the bluenette in front of him. for a couple seconds, the only sound was a faint clock ticking in their skulls. karma's brain suddenly snapped, his eyes rapidly scanned the bluenette's face, from his azure eyes to pale lips. the tension dropped, and his face grew soft, their breathing danced before karmas hand plummeted to his side.

"i- i'm sorry.. nagisa" karma climbed off him "what was i even thinking, i-" karma whispered, backing away, masking his mouth, "you're just like -what even was that feeling." he whispered, letting his lips peck the back of his hand. he continued to mumble "...talented people make that stupid mistake of thinking they have a talent for everything. everyone has their weaknesses, we're as bad as each other." karma downed the rest of his drink. "you need to stop thinking about how other people perceive you and your talents." he rolled his eyes. "it's pissing me off. at the beach it seriously felt like i was being constricted by a snake- by an anaconda. i know where you get your nickname from now." he facepalmed.

nagisa slowly whimpered karmas name under his lips.

"i'm envious. i wish i was capable of what you do" he laughed. "don't think that just because you think that people are higher up than you, that they're going to be automatically better at you for everything." he smiled towards the bluenette. "you're just as good as them."

nagisa's pale face stared at karma, his face scrunched; tears squeezed out of his eyes. he grabbed the red head, scrunching his shirt in his hands; hugging him tightly. "thank you..." he murmured, his shirt dampened as tears fell down the bluenette's cheek. karma held him tight.

"you help everyone around yourself huh... yet you never help yourself." karma whispered. nagisa's breathing softened as his head heavily dragged on the red head's shoulder. he passed out.


	6. so close

nagisa awoke in karma's bed, staring at the ceiling with foggy eyes, he almost didn't recognise where he was. his head struck in pain as he clenched the bedsheets into his chest, snuggling into the warm covers once more before getting out of bed. a cold chill passed as his feet exposed into the open air. nagisa tugged his hair out of the ponytail, letting hair fall onto his shoulders, the bluenette stumbled downstairs, dragging his feet on the floor as he leaned on the wall, looking into the next room to meet the red head's golden eyes, he leaned on the counter, sipping strawberry milk whilst his phone illuminated his face. "nagisa! you're awake!" karma's voice echoed towards him. "how is your hangover?" he chuckled.

"it's doing well- thanks." nagisa muttered. the bright light stung his eyes, his piercing headache crushed his brain. nagisa couldn't focus on anything, as he looked up, he met karma's precious but muffled smile. something was off.

"you look cute in my hoodie" he laughed.

"oh- right i'm sorry karma!" he flustered, panic scrambled across his body as he stumbled to take it off.

"it's fine, nagisa." he assured "keep it"

"what happened?" nagisa smiled hesitantly, scratching the back of his neck. "i barely remember a thing."

"hmm.. we played super smash bros- then we drank a bit.. you ended up crying onto my shoulder..." he smirked. "and then you fell asleep."

"sorry about that." the bluenette fixed his hair as he stared blankly into the mirror.

"i'm just glad you weren't throwing up everywhere.." he paused. "and you know... that you're feeling better".

"karma- just tell me what's going on." nagisa gulped. "this isn't like you."

"i just don't think you're going to feel much better after hearing this." karma gritted his teeth with a smile. "so...do you remember yesterday wh-"

"nope." nagisa smirked

"you idiot- at least let me continue... remember with the beach? well there has been a photo that is spreading online of both of us." karma's eyes met the floor, his hair blanketing his eyes. "there must have been a photographer near the area who snapped a photo of us- at a not so great moment."

nagisa's body was paralysed, his heart echoed in his ears, striking his brain with stinging needles. his eyes were almost bursting through their sockets, as his throat was like sandpaper, air scratching his throat, his lungs crushed his ribs.

"people are guessing it's you." karma sighed. "i- i'm genuinely so sorry."

nagisa's heart throbbed, "show me the photo."

"here." karma held his phone out in front of him, the glowing screen lit up nagisa's face. twitter's feed was slowly exploding with life, as a picture blared onto the screen.

rocks from a nearby cliff softened the edges of the photo, the lens zoomed in on them, karma's body on nagisa's, mouths gaping open. nagisa's eyes rapidly scanned the screen, comments flooded through. his fingers were shaking whilst scrolling through the comments. he bit his lip as tears filled his eyes, vision becoming foggy as his teeth gnawed his tongue, every comment thrusted into his heart, tearing away tissue with daggers of their own words.

"nagisa... you look as white as a ghost, are you okay?" karma placed his hand on the bluenette's cheek.

nagisa never replied a word and merely nodded his head. he never wanted to reveal his face. no. not yet anyway. this isn't how this story is supposed to go. 

everyone knew it was nagisa, it couldn't have been anyone else. his fans knew about their meet-up due to karma's announcement at the convention, and nagisa's blue coloured hair was no secret.

the screen was coated in hatred calling the bluenette a liar. the comments screamed at him: "you are a girl"

"nagisa?" karma murmured once more.

"they know what i look like now." nagisa mumbled, "i don't care about that anymore, but i'm sorry, i'm so sorry karma."

"hey why are you apologising to me?"

nagisa plummeted the phone to karma's chest, which showed an array of comments attacking the red head for cheating; newer viewers attacked them, "it's unnatural behaviour, i find it disgusting." words scraped his eyes.

"nagisa- this isn't something you need to be apologising for..." karma smiled. "if they hate guys dating? then they're not on the right page." he paused for a couple seconds. "and if they think i'm cheating, then they really need to mind their own fucking businesses. don't worry about any of this." his hand caressed nagisa's cheek. nagisa gazed up towards karma, biting his lip and pulling a fake smile. karma softly asked, "do you still want to do the live stream we talked about yesterday? we can drop it if you want. just people are gonna be asking about it." he wiped the tears from nagisa's eyes, as a real smile appeared on the bluenette's face.

"let's just do it. they know what i look like now, i'll show my face in the live stream and we can confirm it's us and clear everything up." nagisa replied. the words still cut him down, especially as he hadn't heard such swarms of comments on his appearance since high school, and it was all coming back to him now. 

he was so close to cutting his hair, so close from being who he is, so close from freedom. if he just worked harder, got more money to move out, perhaps he could be the main character of this life.

karma snagged his camera and lights, nagisa glared at the glowing screen, illuminating his face. he glanced up. the room started spinning as he stumbled off balance, the air gently caressed his skin before he snatched onto the nearby counter.

karma dropped his tripod stand, crashing to the floor as he rushed up to him. "hey you doing okay?" he grabbed his wrist.

"i'm fine, don't worry about me." nagisa's chin raised, he grinned. "just the change in light caught me off guard." he slowly breathed out. "i guess i still haven't recovered from last night fully."

"here, sip on some milk." karma trailed over to the kitchen. he chucked the teen a strawberry milk carton before leading him onto the sofa. "don't want you passing out. you sure you can do this? you look pretty weak to me- and you look weak without having a hangover." he stuck part of his tongue out.

"i'm okay. thanks karma." nagisa stared directly into the lens of the camera which was sitting on the table, reluctantly placing the carton next to it

karma snatched the camera after finally finishing setting everything up. "let's get this done." his finger was somewhat trembling. the red head gazed directly at the floor. "hey- um chief?" he looked back towards the bluenette behind him. "i'm going to be revealing my name."

"wait- really? are you sure? karma- don't feel like you have to! why so suddenly?" nagisa frantically muttered.

"well with the others joining us tomorrow, it would be easier if they could say my real name. so that's just a positive... it's hard to see you go through the whole face reveal thing, i want you not to feel alone with revealing the truth." he smirked. "even a dumbass could understand that- but i guess that's why you didn't know right chief?" he laughed, starting the live stream before nagisa could respond.

"hey guys, we should be live- i'll wait for more people to join before we get started." karma smiled. "this is just a q & a so, feel free to use our hashtag on twitter to drop questions and we will be answering them. and before anyone asks the obvious ones here's an introduction: i'm red devil, my names karma and i'm eighteen, which seemed to surprise a lot of you."

"i'm nagisa- also known as blue anaconda." he scratched his neck, subtly waving to the camera. "i'm nineteen. and most people are surprised that i'm five months older than him." the shorter teen chuckled.

"i see your guys' questions, we'll get round to them." karma smiled, scrolling through his phone. "first i just want to address something." his shoulder's dropped. "i can see some questions regarding it already. as you probably know a photo has been spreading online of both of us. and yes- it is us." he sighed. "nagisa here, he is not a girl." he flapped his hand, cuing the bluenette to speak.

"i just have a very feminine appearance- eventually i want to cut my hair short, but for now i don't have much of a choice about it." nagisa stated.

"we aren't dating. and for all of you concerned in my business saying i'm cheating..." air suffocated as it gulped down his throat. "we're both one hundred percent single, unless this short stack has something to tell me. and i couldn't cheat on anyone if i tried" he mumbled, biting his lower lip. "do not attack either of us, and especially towards nagisa about shit that you don't know. you haven't talked to either of us personally, so don't go thinking you know our lives. nagisa is not a girl- and i'd appreciate if you didn't call him one. his pronouns are he and him- sure- i don't care for pronouns but i'm not nagisa- and despite the fact that he can pull off androgynous clothes freakishly well, and at times i question myself if he's lying- he's not comfortable with being referred to as a girl. if you've got a problem with him, i've got a problem with you and you should just leave this channel now." karma sighed with his hand dragging into his thigh. "i don't want to make a separate video but if comments do continue then i will. but for now, let's get going with the q & a."

karma clicked his tongue, "first question. 'do you have any piercings or tattoos?" the red head beamed towards the bluenette before answering, "i actually have a lot of piercings i just don't wear them as much. i guess that i took them out and just never put them back in. i have my tongue, two helix on my left, with a tragus and an industrial on my right - oh and a couple of lobe piercings. i rarely wear any of them anymore so no one really can tell."

"i just have four." nagisa smiled weakly. "i don't wear any of them either to be honest. i just have simple lobes which i've had since i was a kid, and then i've got two on my cartilage also." he pointed to his left ear.

"and for tattoos" karma added, "we both aren't legal age to get one yet. but in about a year when i am, i hope that i can get something to cover some surgery scars. perhaps on my rib. and unfortunately they are looked down upon quite a lot in japan, aren't they? but honestly it just makes me want to get one more, saying a big fuck you to the world." he chuckled. "next question." karma continued before crossing his legs as he leaned backwards. "damn- when was your first kiss?"

"mine was third year of middle school, so around fourteen or fifteen?" nagisa raised an eyebrow.

"same, i think i was fourteen. and oh here's one. the next question is do you have any pets?"

"i have a snake," nagisa smiled. "telling people that either goes two ways- they realise how obvious that is- or thinks i wouldn't be the type to look after a reptile"

"some of you are horny bastards." karma snickered, showing nagisa the screen as they erupted into laughter. "right- right. "how tall is karma? he always seems quite tall in his videos."

"this man is 6'1" nagisa pointed towards the red head. "he needs to donate some height, i'm only 5'3."

"you just need to drink more milk." he snickered, handing the phone to the bluenette.

"are you guys a fan of anime? if so, what's your favourite?" nagisa announced. "i'm a big fan of my hero academia, i like superhero movies so i guess that goes hand in hand."

"i don't really have a favourite, i just watch things based on their directors and studios. but i definitely like things with blood- cutesy shit ain't my thing."

"oh, we have a lot of questions about what the collaboration is , do you want to go through it karma?" nagisa offered, as karma leaned forwards.

"sure-" he chugged the last bit of his drink before wiping his mouth. "so there will be fifteen of us together; it will be crowded at times but there are enough rooms for everyone separately but its none of my business if people share. i've paid for their transport, and they will all be arriving tomorrow. nagisa arrived early as we met at the convention and it would just be a hassle for him to go all the way home and back. we will be making challenge video's together, vlogs and documenting everything. and we will probably be doing some christmas content, as they're spending the holidays here. that's pretty much it-"

・・・★ ・・・

the q&a ended when yawns stretched across the boys faces. nagisa dragged his feet into the kitchen to throw his carton away, then dawdling up to the red head.

"karma?" he mumbled, golden eyes met his own. "thank you."

"ey, no need to thank me, anyone would have done the same." he tapped the spot next to him, nagisa's knees kissed his chest.

"not many people would go to that extent." nagisa muttered, arms hugging himself tightly.

"if your entire life people haven't went that far for you, you've been around bad people, nagi. although you're very stupid at times... and a pain in the ass, you deserve a lot more" he grinned. nagisa's face buried into his knees.

"hey hey hey" karma held him close. "are you laughing or crying- don't cry on me now, idiot!" he assured as nagisa's head rested on his shoulder, he brushed his hand through the bluenette's hair. as the darkness stained the house and the clock ticked into the night, the room scented with darkness as their screens illuminated their faces, they ordered pizza and talked while laughing at videos until the moon peered through the curtain. it was almost perfect. to an extent, neither of them wanted the other youtubers to arrive tomorrow


	7. the fifteen of us

voices echoed around the main room as nagisa draped downstairs. immediately he spotted karma with two people: one with dark hair and another with almost orange hair, however it was more of a honey tone, they comfortably sat onto the sofa, conversations bouncing between them, despite how confident karma is around others, he was merely listening in.

nagisa descried a familiar face scurrying in the kitchen, digging into some pudding. "nagisa!" she waved. "wow great to see you"

"kaede! its been a while, how are you?" he energetically responded, admiring his old childhood friend run up to him. kayano kaede was an actor, more famously known under the name, 'haruna mase' but often used the alternate name with friends. despite working within the hollywood industry, she occasionally came back to her native country for small projects. by eighteen she was already a global hit, and was able to produce films with english fluency like it was her native language. karma was a close friend to her over the past couple years, and they found mutual interest through producers, often talking for hours about kayano's production film on calls. she collaborated with karma on his youtube channel a couple of times, talking about behind the scenes of movie combat and fight scenes. nagisa knew they were friends, but never expected to meet karma one day through kayano in the slightest.

"i'm doing well, how long has it been? it must have been just over a year since we last saw each other in person" the green haired girl lit up the room. "you're eighteenth birthday, right?" she giggled.

"i'm happy to talk to you again in real life rather than behind that screen." he chuckled at the pudding sitting in her hands, "you really haven't changed a bit since i last saw you."

"you haven't changed either." kayano softly spoke, "still haven't escaped from that mother of yours, huh?"

"unfortunately" nagisa sighed. "hey kaede, who are those two karma is with?"

"oh, maehara- and i'm pretty sure thats his boyfriend" she grinned over to the duo. hiroto maehara was well known social media hit. his name was famous around instagram, and was known to be a model for large companies. he has many young teenage fans who adore him, and unfortunately get saddened by the fact that he's known to have a boyfriend. well-fiance might be the right word, but unfortunately gay marriage isn't legalised in japan. despite this, they often joke that they are "engaged" by their rings which they wear, sometimes evidently seen hanging on a necklace around maehara's neck. but- they still refer to each other as boyfriends.

"ahh." nagisa responded as karma met his eyes, signaling for the duo to come over.

"morning nagisa" karma sipped some milk tightly gripped into his hands. "you feeling okay?"

"yeah i'm doing great." nagisa clenched his teeth in a smile.

"so this is him?" the lighter haired boy asked, "great to meet you! maehara hiroto" he introduced, nudging the person sitting next to him. "this is yuuma."

"nice to finally see you in person! karma has been talking about you. i'm isogai." 

"nice to meet you too, nagisa shiota." that name was so familiar to the bluenette. he rememberd merely a year or two ago, maehara was sandwiched between many rumours. he broke off with a long term partner, getting together with his childhood best friend: yuuma isogai. and sure enough, on closer inspection isogai was wearing a matching ring to the blonde sitting next to him: only it was on his hand. though, he seemed to have an empty chain hugging his neck where the ring usually laid.

"hey karma," a dark haired girl tapped him on his shoulder, followed by a beautiful smile. "i'm sorry to interrupt but could you just come aid us quickly?"

"sure." he turned towards the shorter duo "come on nagisa." he chucked the carton into the bin as he strutted along the house. "this is kanzaki by the way." he nodded his head over to her.

nagisa smiled at the black haired beauty, responding with a stutter, "h-hi," nagisa was definitely familiar with her work: yukiko kanzaki. currently ranked in within the top ten gaming streamers in japan.

"nice to meet you nagisa." kanzaki responded, looking back to the red head once again. "thanks to okuda- we've got the formulas down but we are just struggling to put it together."

"ah i see- you shorties are struggling aren't you?" karma badgered.

"what's going on?" nagisa asked, his face scrunched with confusion.

"we're just constructing fireworks-" karma responded.

"fireworks!?" nagisa questioned, jaw hanging open. "isn't that- kind of illegal?" panic folded between his wrinkled face.

"maybe- who knows. but why are you the one so worried about if it's illegal? we literally drank alcohol yesterday- and we both aren't twenty yet, are we chief?"

nagisa mumbled, "okay fair enough. but you were the one who asked if i wanted to do shots!"

karma scratched the back of his neck. "plus it'll be fine nagisa! we won't get in trouble if no one tells on us! and if we get in trouble, i have great friends that's working with the government, they'll back us up."

"who exactly-" he hesitated "who exactly are you friends with?"

"plus my father will pay any fines, don't worry about it!" karma hit nagisa's back playfully.

"i feel like i should be very concerned about you." the bluenette mumbled.

their feet adjourned at a group: a girl's purple hair flowed, standing alongside a rather muscular boy, nagisa's face lit up as he saw his middle school friend. "tomohito!" nagisa smiled, rushing up to the famous baseball star. he hadn't seen him since he got recruited at sixteen to work at the top sporting academy in the country.

"nagisa- i can't believe you're here!" he responded, their hands clasped into a firm handshake.

"karma- why didn't you tell me he'd be here?" nagisa's eyes sparkled in excitement.

"i did-" karma rolled his eyes. "you were just black out drunk when i told you.... idiot" he gritted his teeth, gnawing at his tongue.

"karma- is this okay?" a girl with purple hair asked, her glasses fell down her face slightly as she showed him a sheet of paper.

"looks great!" he leaned on my shoulder. "do you mind if we carry this on later?"

"that's okay with me." she smiled, folding the piece of paper.

"oh, manami, this is nagisa." he pointed to the bluenette, nagisa broke from his conversation, meeting the short, science whizz.

"nice to meet you!" she smiled. "i'm manami okuda." her hands met infront of her. okuda. a scientific genius, doing experiments for schools and campaigning to help younger kids get into science, mostly through youtube- which was a recommendation by karma. even nagisa, who wasn't a fan of anything to do with sciences appreciated her work.

"you too." the bluenette responded.

"how have you been lately, eh manami?" karma raised an eyebrow, his arm still steadily resting on nagisa's shoulder: who was sulking

"i'm great! i miss making you things in the lab, it's been a while." she happily answered.

"it really has." he smirked, the chilly december wind blew admidst the group.

"this is why i just had to help you with this." she fiddled with her hands behind her back, rocking on her shoes.

"h- how do you know each other?" nagisa questioned.

"middle school friends. we dated for a while but broke up at once we graduated junior high" karma stated, "we're still on good terms now." he quickly added.

"that's great to hear" sugino added. "sorry- but could we go back to the main room? it's being a bit chilly" he requested.

the house tumbled with conversations, eventually nagisa got introduced to everyone, they sat in a circle, snacks overflowing in the middle as chatter exchanged between everyone's lips. a voice abruptly interrupted them, "hey- so everyone, we're thinking of doing a game now, and this will be filmed for content: we might use it, we might just put a raw clip onto patreon. either way, if you want to join in then feel free, it's going to be truth or dare." isogai ordered, scratching his neck.

"oh this is going to be great." nakamura elbowed nagisa with a mischievous smile.

"nakamura! don't you dare!" he whined.

"oh come on hun, you're the perfect person for this game to get some really good dares out of." she laughed.

the bluenette sulked as cameras towered over the group, voices rebounded through the room, until a countdown loudly suffocated the noise. everyone was ready.

"hey everyone, welcome to the beginning of this collaboration!" karma introduced. "we're just going to get the ball rolling straight away, this is truth or dare, we have a bottle on this table, we will start with chiba, whoever it lands on will receive it. we will work clockwise, and if you don't want to answer, or do the dare, you must be given a punishment."

chiba started,he spun the bottle, anticipation filled the air. "kayano-" he spoke aloud

"me?" she answered, pointing towards herself.

"truth or dare?" he asked.

"truth..."

he looked up, hair barricading his eyes, before smiling. "if you could choose a lifetime supply of pudding, or the love of your life, which would you choose..?" the room erupted in laughter. kayano looked towards nagisa, she cleared her throat before answering.

"i- uh is that even a question? pudding, of course!" she laughed. "i was expecting something much more personal" she put her hand on her chest in relief.  
the game continued, the girls all had their turns: hayami, kayano, kataoka, yada, kanzaki and nakamura. the blonde was the last of them. she spun it. the bottle just about landed onto nagisa as she stood up excitedly, punching the air.

"nagisa! truth or dare?" nakamura smiled mischeviously

"i know if i pick dare- it's just going to be bad news... so truth."

"you're never open about this- so i have to ask, are you interested in anyone at the minute?"

nagisa froze. face burning, his heart suddenly struck still. his mouth stuttered open yet, nothing was coming out.

"wait- holy shit dude! you like someone!" maehara joked.

"no no no.. it's not like that, i-i don't!" he argued, catching karma in the corner of his eye, his face buried into his sweaty palms.

"who is it?" nakamura excitedly asked.

he bit his lip. "i-i'm not answering that!"

"guys- stop he's clearly uncomfortable." isogai pushed maehara and nakamura away. "nagisa, you don't need to answer, let's just continue the game..." he assured.

the blue haired teen spun the bottle, the glass scratched against the wooden table, slowing down before finally landing on karma. "k-karma truth or dare?"

"hmm- why not, i'll do a truth." he smirked

nagisa paused before asking a question, "how many.. people have you dated?"

he looked up to the ceiling "if were talking real romantic relationships- then two."

"only two?" maehara questioned. "damn you're so popular, you could get anyone you wanted, i'm surprised you have only dated two girls!"

"i don't think my ex boyfriend would have liked to be called a girl-" karma raised an eyebrow. the room reflected silence before nakamura burst out laughing.

"s-sorry but your guys' reactions are the best!" the blonde snickered, nagisa's arm groaned with pain as she repetitively slapped him. laughter broke free from her mouth. a peering smile grew on nagisa's face, laughter squeezed through his closed lips. okuda smiled with a giggle.

nakamura's face unwrinkled, her arm dropped, brushing against his clothes. "wait nagisa you know about him?"

nagisa smiled vacuously, "him? well i-"

"well i'm sorry we didn't know he was gay!" terasaka interrupted, his voice blasting across the table.

"this might be bias as i've literally seen him kiss a guy-" itona mumbled, looking up from his phone. "but it's not too surprising if you think about it." he interrupted. "that would also prove why terasaka over here would have no clue, he can't use that brain of his."

karma nodded in agreement with a smirk blotted on his face.

terasaka pounded his fist onto the table "what the fuck did you just-"

"he isn't gay." okuda's soft tone interrupted, "after all we dated-"

"well then one of you are lying." terasaka's arms flailed.

"neither of them are you bastard." karma responded. "i don't care for gender of my partner in the slightest"

"so you're bi?" maehara pointed a finger gun at him with a wink.

karma chucked "i don't like labels too much- like why should i have to attach labels onto myself for someone else?" his eyes met the ceiling closing into darkness. "if i had to though i guess i'm pan? "

terasaka mumbled. "what's-"

" if you want to know, ask me later." karma put his hands behind his head. "sugino, your turn."

nagisa hesitated- "karma- i'm sorry about that last question.. i feel bad for proposing something like that."

"don't be ridiculous, blueberry. i said what i did on my own terms, don't blame yourself." he rolled his eyes. "what do you guys want me to do? lie about who i really am? that's stupid since i'm open about it. it's not a bad thing so why deny it?."

"blueberry eh-" nakamura nudged nagisa beside him.

nagisa hugged his knees to his chest. "let's just drop it nakamura."


	8. him

"i thought i'd find you up here." nakamura smirked, sitting down next to the red head who perched on the roof, a cigarette between his fingers as he watched the group swarm on the beach below.

"i know what you're going to say-" karma sighed. "smoking isn't good for you its a gateway drug- blah de blah."

"i thought you completely packed in smoking a while ago? i know you never did it as a regular thing but- still."

"i did." he exhaled, watching the smoke vanish into the frosty air. "but i've just got a lot on my mind,okay? i needed something to calm me down that wasn't alcohol... and i found an old pack."

"then at least give me one wont you?" nakamura smiled, holding her hand out, as the red head tampered the pack before she picked out a cigarette. karma's eyes smiled watching the flame dance. "hey where's nagisa?" the blonde asked, searching for the blunette in the sand below.

"he fell asleep after the game. never had a proper sleep due to jetlag- he's just had a rough couple days."

"soo.. karma.." nakamura grinned. "you like that kid- don't you?" a chuckle escaped her mouth.

"'that kid'" karma paused, "is older than both of us." he rolled his eyes, tapping the cigarette his his hand, watching the ashes fall to the ground. 

"oooh- " she sarcastically snickered. "excuse me, mr. eighteen-year-old."

"i've only known him in person for a couple of days rio-"

"so? didn't you tell me you've known him for over a year now? who cares?" she rested her head on her hand, smoke swirling. "i've known you for a long time, karma. and even your classmates who you knew for three years didn't want to come near you, yet nagisa has been so comfortable around you- he even blushed earlier in the game! are you just dense to realise tha-"

"drop it, rio." he bluntly stated. "why would you care if i like him? you just don't fucking understand." karma stubbed his cigarette into the tray beside him. 

"and what dont i understand?" nakamura repeated. "please if you think i'm clueless about relationships, then you're wrong, you clearly like each-other ju-"

"him, rio ." karma looked away, gritting his own teeth. silence swarmed the area. "i still haven't forgiven myself for what happened with gakushu. and i never want to hurt nagisa like i did with him."

nakamura's heart sank deep into her stomach, words trapped inside her mouth ".. i'm so sorry karma, i should have kept my mouth shut."

silence stirred in the winter air. "y-you know that video?" karma mumbled.

"your recent comeback upload?" nakamura asked, tilting her head.

"despite only posting it at the weekend, i filmed that in august. it had been 6 months. my injuries from the night of his death has pretty much healed. still going through physiotherapy to learn to walk again. but even then, i was acting like a complete bastard- thinking i could pull through- telling everyone that i was okay. but the entire time- i was on the verge of crying. it took me so long to edit as i kept breaking down. i could see all my scars in front of me- yet there was one that was more painful deep within me. which i couldn't stitch- no matter how hard i tried"

"you didn't want anyone to worry...did you?" nakamura muttered. "you posted the video to announce your comeback- but you still aren't ready now, are you?" the frosty air stirred still, faint echoes of playful shouting from outside tickled the glass windows below them, "if you weren't ready, then why bring everyone together for a collaboration? are you really that eager to show the world that you've moved on? you clearly haven't karm-"

"i wanted to keep my promise. ." karma smiled hesitantly, repetitively watching the flame of his lighter combust. 

"a promise? since when did you make promises?"

"when i met nagisa, it was obvious he wasn't doing well. with his living situation at home, i thought it would be best if he took a break, i promised we would meet."

"so you're doing this for him?" nakamura raised an eyebrow.

"i just- wanted to see his smile again again, rio." a grin formed on karma's face, "he was getting worried." karma fiddled with his hand, tracing his veins buried under soft, pale skin. "his videos kept me going through hard times, just everything about him, was perfect. yet the more i saw him upload, the more his eagerness dropped. i just didn't want nagisa fall into darkness again, so i wanted to see him happy again as soon as possible. and i remember it was his dream to do a collaboration like this.

"come on if that's not screaming that you have a crush, i don't know what is." nakamura smirked looking at karma. "no one would go to this extent for a normal person, not even you."

"don't give me that look!" he groaned.

"sorry- i haven't seen you this caring towards anyone- ever." she started laughing as they muffled into the hand over her mouth "it's hilarious." she chuckled as those laughs morphed into soft whimpers trailing out of her lips, then dropping her hand to the side, her cigarette trail following in the cold air, "wait- you knew nagisa was going to be at the convention all along... didn't you? this was set up all along." "and so what if it was?" "nothing. nothing" she smiled. "still- my point stands. you love him." 

"you know i'm definitely going to beat your ass." karma rolled his eyes, a trail of smoke left his mouth. before he paused. "back then- when i dated asano. i was blind, i didn't realise how much of an abusive relationship i was in with him... so i guess i'm scared of another relationship. is it too soon? even if it is with nagisa... he's just like the sun. back then, talking to nagisa gave me a distraction, i was happiest when i was talking to him. so will being his boyfriend be a good idea- or will this just damage me more... will i hurt him?

" i wish i could answer-" she sighed. "look-i'm sorry for mentioning anything, karma. "i know you don't like talking about it- only three of us know after all."

"it's weird hearing you speak with so much empathy. you already know, i don't care who knows anymore. i need to accept what happened." karma sighed. "once i got out the hospital, i abandoned myself in my room. i couldn't get up out of bed, i just watched the notifications flood through my phone, fans getting more concerned each day. i didn't have any strength- not to shower, not to brush my teeth, not even to eat. i just- i needed a reason to get out of my room, and this collaboration was that reason i needed. i came to a realisation that i need to move on. he's gone. and there is nothing to change that. it's my fault and i need to accept that."

"karma-" nakamura hugged her knees closer. " it was never your fault- are you really blaming yourself now?"

"stop pissing me off, if you're so smart then who else could it be?. it has to be mine. you can't blame a corpse, nakamura." karma looked away, his hair falling into his eyes. "you know what happened, but you don't know what it was like to be there that night."

"you're right. i'm sorry, it was wrong of me to intervene." she murmured.

"look rio, i'm fine." karma looked straight at her eyes, trying to clear his throat, yet it was drained dry. "im just tired.. of being scared all the time without a reason why. yes i've been not sleeping, ... the late nights, cold dinners. sleeping during the day as no one stirs at night, everything is quiet and peaceful, its the one time where its just me " he hesitated. " messages flood through my phone, asking if i'm okay, yet all i can respond with yes because i don't know how else to respond." karma turned away from the blonde. " yet i guess- nagisa makes me feel like everything is going to be okay for once." karma put out his cigarette, stomping on it harshly. 

"karma where are you going?"

"town. apologise to nagisa for me when he wakes up." karma gave one last oeillade towards her before walking away.


	9. bad match

"nagisa!" kayano waved from the sandy terrain below. he smiled. descending down the path, the grainy sand squeezing between his toes.

"i can't believe it's the middle of december and we are on a sunny beach!" nagisa's jaw opened: thunderstruck.

"that's right- you live in a place where it snows all winter, don't you nagisa?" sugino approached the blunette putting his arm around his shoulders playfully.

"i see you're finally awake shortstack!" maehara grinned. "how was your sleep?"

"great! despite the fact that i never remember falling asleep.." nagisa chuckled.

isogai called the honey haired boy over to search through the rock pools, he seemed fascinated by the many creatures swimming in the shallow seas, as he carried a fishing rod over his shoulder. maehara was caught rolling an eye or two while making his way over to his boyfriend while carrying a tripod and a bucket full of small sea creatures. the girls struck poses like models on rocks, wind caressing their hair. itona was floating in the ocean, terasaka seemed overprotective of the white haired beauty, aggressively telling people to not hit the sandcastle that itona built moments before. itona gripped a controller in his hand, staring up into the azure sky, golden eyes following a drone flying in the air, recording everyone below. occasionally, he glanced into his reflection of the sea. yellow eyes were fascinated by the water, almost as if it was the first time he was able to go into the ocean. 

hayami and chiba finished putting their equipment away. it seemed to be targets. ryunosuke chiba ran an architectural business, and hayami often helped him, she was noted to be the person that started off his career. they famously collaborated through the artist sugaya sosuke, a mutual friend of nakamura. this duo was famous for action packed, risky stunts, aided by chiba's ability to design anything they needed. the duo occasionally made eye contact with each other, smiling. their cheeks burning a rose pink. apparently they talked a lot more around each other, but with everyone around, they rarely muttered a word. everyone else were setting up a volleyball net in the middle of the chaos. cameras towering everyone.

"nagisa? are you listening?" sugino asked, waving his hand infront of the bluenette's face.

"i-i'm sorry!" he blustered.

"don't worry about it dude- do you want to play volleyball?" his teeth grinded into a smile.

"seriously...? look at me tomohito, i'm nineteen and 5'3. i don't think you understand that volleyball isn't a good match."

"please nagisa." kayano added. "it'll be fun."

"if you want me to.. i'll do it." nagisa agreed. a strong wind blew past them, his eyes squinted in the rocky air while his shirt flapped in the wind. his hand sheltered his eyes as the bitter sand shot into their mouths. the beaming winter sun reflected onto the sand, they gathered around the net. maehara chucked a ball behind his back as sugino caught it, the group crowded round while ears opened for the rules:

the game was a girls vs boys match with 6 players on each team. spectating watchers dotted on nearby rocks.

"where's karma?" nagisa asked, frantically looking around.

"he said he wanted to go on a walk." nakamura replied. "he grabbed his jacket and just left- he told me to apologise to you."

"apologise? h..he said he would join us- you.. you don't think that somethings going on?" nagisa stuttered.

"karma's a big boy"." maehara chuckled. "he's fine. plus we don't need karma to win."

"are you trying to say that we won't beat you ?" nakamura raised an eyebrow. the girls glared, eyes staring into their soul.

"why not take nagisa onto your team? it might even things up a bit." maehara's chin raised, smirking. "call it a donation."

"a donation?!? we are going to murder your ass." nakamura cracked her knuckles.

"i.. i'm standing right here." nagisa's azure eyes scanned rapidly between the conflict before shuffling over to the boys' team.

during the game, the bluenette got threw around, sand launched in nagisa's face, as it wrinkled. coarse rocks pierced his tastebuds. unsurprisingly, sugino, kataoka, isogai and maehara had athletic advantages from baseball, swimming, tennis and football respectively. the boys were colossal walls towering over the girls. yet the girls' eyes filled with passion, fire and determination.

you should have seen the maehara's reaction when they won.

・・・★ ・・・

the sun stirred at the horizon, the cerulean sea crashed as abandoned equipment from that evening finally got reclaimed. nagisa trailed in behind the group, a screaming voice deafened the room.

"don't you dare touch me you bastard!" he shouted, batting maehara's hand away.

"karma- wait!" maehara called. everyone's eyes followed the red head who stumbled upstairs, slamming the door shut, shaking the house.

"wha-what's going on?" nagisa asked, holding open the door to let kayano through, who placed some equipment next to the door.

"karma's back." nakamura boldly stated.

"that idiot must have got into a fight or something." terasaka mumbled, putting his hands behind his head.

"a.. fight?" nagisa questioned his eyes scanned everyone in the room, panic flooded through his brain.

"did you see his face...? itona muttered. "there was blood-"

nagisa's eyes widened as his heart plummeted to his stomach.

"nagisa- please go check on him" kayano asked anxiously, grabbing his hand.

"wh- why me? how am i supposed to help?" he stumbled backwards.

"the closest person to karma right now, is you.." nakamura added.

"please.." kataoka's eyes begged. "for karma."


	10. he's okay

"hey.. karma?" nagisa knocked gently on his bedroom door. "c-can I come in?" he asked; however , there was no reply. "everyone is worried and we just.. want to know if you're okay... the bluenette mumbled, taking a deep breath. "i.. i'm going to come in.. okay?" his door was unlocked, nagisa peeped inside. everything was dark, even the sun which usually is seeping through the blinds was shut out. darkness surrounded nagisa, his shadow reflected from the warm corridor. karma's shadow laid on his bed, he moved abruptly, eyes glowing, meeting nagisa's own.

"i can leave if you want me to i-" nagisa stumbled, turning for the door.

"...stay." his voice echoed.

nagisa slowly approached him, sitting by the foot of his bed.

karma sat up, a graze slashed down the side of his face, with blood on his hands from his nose. his face was emotionless, hair blinded his eyes. karma was shaking. he fell forwards before resting his head on the bluenette's shoulder, although not crying, he silently sobbed, chest rising rapidly while grabbing onto the collar of nagisa's shirt, dragging it down.

karma's fists clenched tigther, his voice cracking into a cry. "what's wrong with me?" he wailed, slamming his close fist onto the other boy's chest.

"nothing- nothing is wrong with you karma." nagisa repeated, his hand glided through karma's red hair. "don't worry. it's okay: i'm here, i'll listen." nagisa reassured. the red head's breathing was uneven, gasping between each breath. "you don't need to tell me anything... take all the time you need.. try and take deep breaths..." nagisa softly caressed his back. "it's just you.. and i... it's just us."

the clock ticked for hours, karma held his head close to nagisa's neck. they both laid staring at the abandoned ceiling. his heavy breathing still echoed around the room; however, the calmness stirred in the atmosphere. he looked towards nagisa, golden eyes gazing up 

"thank you." karma closed his eyes, letting his chest rise.

"it's all no problem." nagisa smiled, turning towards karma. "hey-let me.. go get something for your face." nagisa responded. "stay here- i have something in my convention bag." he smiled, bouncing off the bed. "i left it in here- right?" karma sat upright, rubbing his groggy eyes, twitching in pain from the graze that was forgotten on his face.

nagisa knelt, unzipping the bag he left in karma's room, taking out some alcohol wipes and bandages located in a small medical box. returning to his bed, his legs crossed, sitting in front of him.

"are you comfortable for me to touch your face?" nagisa asked, opening the box. "or do you want to do it yourself?"

"y.. you do it." karma raised his hand to the graze once more.

"don't touch it-" he chuckled. "it might sting a little." nagisa ripped open the wipe."right- i'm just going to wipe the graze- okay?" the bluenette rested his left hand on karma's chin, cleaning off the dry blood on karma's left side. eyes clenched as karma pulled away.

"ah-hey be careful you dumbass! he slapped nagisa's hand away, eyes dodging the bluenette. "i... sorry,""

"no no- it's okay. i-i'm sorry- sorry! i'll be more careful. but okay- that part is over now.. ." nagisa handed karma some wipes for the excess blood on his hands. "you really scared us, you know that?" nagisa leaned over to the left, analysing at his bruised nose. karma's mercury eyes followed the bluenette, within a blink, he looked back down at his hands, sighing.

"you shouldn't be worrying about me this much." karma mumbled. "it's not like it's the first time."

"and why shouldn't I worry about you?" he responded. "just because it's not the first time doesn't mean that it's not painful. now- your nose" nagisa continued, cleaning the stains laying on his lip. 

"it's not broken, if you're concerned about that." karma chuckled, feeling nagisa pass over the bruises at the bridge of his nose. "well at least- i hope. i took pain killers, opioids, this morning anyway. it's faded- i can feel a lot of pressure, making it sting and painful- but other than that, it's pretty much still blocking out major pain. so it could be broken, but i can't really feel that at this point. it's just numbness of bones and muscles.

"why do you take opioids? those can be really strong." nagisa tilted his head, nibbling on his tongue. karma only stirred with silence, avoiding his azure eyes."i'm- sorry! don't think i'm forcing you to say anything- you don't have to tell me." nagisa flailed his hands. 

" it's okay. i'm going to have to tell you eventually." karma muttered, sulking. "i was in the hospital earlier this year- after a major accident. i'd rather not go into detail about that right now... but i had three main surgeries. my spine, my ribs, and my legs: and i take the medication as i didn't listen to my doctor to make sure i'm off my feet and let everything heal. i wanted to do everything myself, even if i couldn't. which stupidly got me collapsing in the hallway too many times for comfort. by the time i was in physiotherapy, and learning how to properly walk, everything became painful, as i abused myself earlier in recovery. i can walk- but with pain. but i just wanted to suck it up and get back to being a normal human being. so they administrated medication and asked me to take things easy to let myself recover fully. but have i done that? fuck no. i'd rather take stronger pain meds than be on my ass until my body decides to recover.. 

"and that's why you took that long break?" 

"yeah- i should have told you i was on a break- but i never got into contact with anyone for around six months after the accident." 

"that's okay- i understand." nagisa looked down, fiddling with the first aid kit, nagisa looked up to meet karma's smiling golden eyes. the red head chuckled, breaking contact.

"what's so funny?" nagisa raised an eyebrow, sulking slightly.

"nothing." he smiled. "i didn't say anything." karma looked away while smirking. "you just look like you're about to kill the person who hurt me and i don't understand how you make that cute."

nagisa felt his face blush acutely as he turned his face, he adjusted his position to place a bandage on karma's cheek . "i-is your head okay? did you hit it?"

"uh.. yeah."

"well which one is it?" nagisa raised an eyebrow, finishing up the applications.

"well i got hit in the head- if that's what you're implying." he smiled, looking down while fiddling with his hoodie, his hand wrapped around the fabric, letting his nails pierce into his palm before flailing backwards. "apologies for wasting your time. but right now i just want to sleep. everything's already a headache.. and i just cant fucking deal with being awake right now.

"do you need anything more from me?" nagisa asked, sitting up from the bed.

"just-" the red head paused, "don't say anything to the others." karma muttered, pulling the quilt over his head. "please." 


	11. the okay discussion

"i hope karma is okay..." isogai swung his feet. the group were scattered downstairs, a couple of people lurked around the kitchen, peering into the conversations. "i wonder what happened."

"is there anyone who would want to hurt that bastard?" terasaka grumbled. "oi, picture book graduate, you've known karma since high school right- do you know anything?" he nudged itona while sipping from his can.

"I believe i do." itona responded, sitting on the floor while fixing some of his equipment "watch it you're gonna spill that drink."

"hey is this who i think it is..." nakamura joined the converstation, leaning off her seat, looking at the white haired boy

itona nodded, looking over to manami. the three shared a depressing expression.

"you might as well tell them... itona." nakamura rested her chin on her hand. "i was talking to karma earlier.. he said he didn't really care who knew anymore."

"the first person who comes to mind to hurt him- is his ex's father." itona peered at his phone, scrolling through instructions. "his father hated karma. mostly because he was violent, and the only reason he didn't get expelled, is because he was at the top of the school. he could get away with so much because of his good grades. at the beginning of this year, he asked to never see karma again, and if he did, then he would make karma experience the same pain his son went through."

"so that's what happened- he didn't get into a fight.. but rather?" kataoka murmured. "his ex's father assaulted him in the streets?"

"i'd say so." nakamura butted in. "karma said he needed time to reflect, and likely saw the bastard in public. his ex's father wouldn't be shy to do something like that if he could conceal his reputation. everything could be hidden behind those eyes of his- i still feel uneasy thinking about them." she sighed, a shiver rushed through her spine as her eyes closed slowly. "so once karma likely thought he was safe, he could injure him at his weakest, he wanted to make him suffer."

"he said he had an ex boyfriend.. didn't he?" maehara raised an eyebrow. "they dated in... high school...?" his hands softly touched isogai's hair, who was sitting in front of him.

"what's with the sad expressions you three." isogai asked. "is he really that bad?" the brunette hugged his legs to his chest, kissing his knees.

"of course he's bad-" terasaka grumbled. "this man literally assaulted that bastard."

itona mumbled "does anyone know the name, asano?"

"gakuho asano- the guy who runs education facilities all over the country?" chiba leaned over the sofa, handing maehara and isogai cans of drinks.

"wait- dont tell me that's him? and karma's ex boyfriend is the son of the most successful man in the country?." maehara raised an eyebrow.

isogai chuckled, "but that can't be right, he was in the news earlier this year, his son died."

the entire room dropped silent, ghastly glances were exchanged, they stared at the floor.

"please tell me you're joking." kataoka muttered.

"karma akabane... and gakushu asano started dating mid way through their second year of high school. "itona mumbled, as he shuffled his knees to his chest, dropping his tools. "they weren't particularly open about their relationship, i mean it's school rules- relationships are forbidden... yet they dated anyway- and practically everyone knew. on rare occasions you would see them kiss after school in isolated classrooms. honestly, they didn't talk much in school. and looking back- it's unusual. their entire relationship was just.. it was..."

"toxic?" nakamura continued. "it wasn't the best relationship, karma would be bruised and damaged. but you'd just assume it was from his fights he often got into. after karma got expelled and grew away from his boyfriend, the happier he seemed. yet the more distant they became, the worse the injuries got." 

" i'm ashamed that none of us realised how abusive it was until it was too late." itona rested his cheeks on his knees, his eyes peered before tilting his head, letting a light sigh leave his lips.

"what do you mean.. before it's too late?" hayami asked.

okuda continued, she fiddled with her fingers in front of her. "gakushu felt like a minion to his father and he realised that he was becoming a robot of him- he registered that he was causing so much pain to karma. one night things got increasingly bad.. after those events he snapped: then attempting suicide. he wanted to end things before he caused karma more pain" okuda hesitated, watching itona cross his legs, straightening his arms as he constantly fiddled too, tightening his lilac bandana. "despite the abuse, karma was in love. he was wearing rose tinted glasses. he wanted forgive gakushu for what he's done. but gakushu couldn't even forgive himself. he went to the bridge a couple minutes away from here. karma tried to save him. but he wound in hospital as well."

"so thats why he took that long break?" maehara's eyes stared at isogai's ruffled, chocolate brown hair. "he was hospitalised?"

okuda hesitantly smiled, forcing it on her face. "as soon as his injuries healed, he started revealing himself again. this was around september? six months after the incident. it took a while to recover, he even still takes medication a year later as he's often in pain. he broke a couple ribs, damaged his spine which fortunately wasn't serious, but he shattered his leg. he also fractured his wrist, but that wasn't from trying to save him."

"so- what was that from?" isogai questioned before looking up to maehara as he snapped out of his daze.

"what karma told me-" nakamura paused "was as a first suicide attempt, gakushu got insanely drunk to numb his pain. after karma received a phone call, he went to go check on him. at some point during the night- lets just stay gakushu wasn't thinking properly, and tried to force himself on karma, fracturing his wrist in the process. karma never told me if he agreed to what they did- or denied. he just said the more he tried to get away, the more painful he would be. so he didn't have a choice and just let him do it. this was also one of the reasons gakushu left- he couldn't face karma again after doing this."

"he forced- himself?" kayano's eyes widened. "you mean he ra- no."

"i dont want to think about that-" yada mumbled, her hand suffocating her mouth."

"the worst part of it was- seeing karma in the hospital." nakamura folded her legs. " his parents weren't home so he didn't have anyone for him. i substituted in and visited him as soon as i could. i was there after he woke up- when he found out asano died and being interrogated by the police, as they wanted someone close to him to be there. his screams- they still haunt me, every time he cried, he shrieked in pain, every twitch of his bones caused pain. his eyes bled dry as he struggled to breathe. when he knew i was there, he rarely talked, but when he did, the pain his his eyes contradicted his blank face. "

"sometimes cupid runs out of his precious arrows, and shoots only one person, not two. and that arrow pierced straight into karma's heart. shattering it."


	12. his azure eyes

"morning, how are you feeling?" a raspy voice asked, the glass echoed as it hit the table beside karma's bed.

"i'm fine." the red head mumbled, rubbing his eyes while sitting up. red hair fell into karma's eyes, as he hung his head before yawning. he looked up, the blunette perched in front of him. "seriously chief, if you keep looking at me like that you'll be wrinkled as an old man in your 20's" he smiled.

"i'm sorry for being concerned for a friend" nagisa replied with a chuckle.

karma opened his bottom drawer, pulling out medication. he twisted the cap, scattering them into his hand. "what time is it?"

"it's around 10am."

"did you go back to your room?" karma picked up the glass while dangling his feet off the edge,

"i- well. "

the red head chuckled. "it's fine if you stayed shortie i couldn't care less." his hand trembled, placing the cup on top of the beside table, he stood up to stretch. "i assume those other bastards figured out what happened by now... sure they're dumb, especially terasaka. but.. i know they at least share enough combined brain cell to work the whole situation out. rio probably told them anyways."

"are you okay with that?" nagisa asked.

"i don't really care, what are they gonna do?" karma laughed to himself, picking up the glass once more, water chugged down his throat, his hand grasped the cup tighter. the red head sighed. he didn't mind the others knowing about asano... but nagisa? another story. nagisa still doesn't know about what happened that night, just merely that karma was at the hospital after the event. sure, karma would have to tell him eventually- but he'd prefer the bluenette to not be worried about him- especially as nagisa might question if he could have prevented the night- if he didn't go online- would things be different? the collaboration is supposed to drive him away from worry. he just needed a new conversation. a new distraction, a new topic. a new- 

"so- uh...how are you coping.. you know.. with the photo and media- and that ?" karma asked, eyebrow raising causing his forehead to fold.

"i'm still getting questions if we're dating or not." he responded, a small laugh caught in his throat.

"tell me chief... who are you into..?" karma smirked.

"-and what you mean by that?" he questioned, turning towards the red head slightly.

"you've never said- do you like girls?" karma asked, grabbing a chair, swinging it round and sitting on it, making the back of the chair flat against his chest, hands laying on top of it.

"yeah-" he smiled hesitantly "i think..." karma couldn't make direct contact with nagisa's eyes. "well- well honestly i don't know anymore." the short blue haired boy stuttered.

"hmm?" karma's right fang became visible, smirking.

"i thought i liked girls- i was certain i liked girls. but i feel different. it's hard to explain. i- i'm sorry i'm just wasting your time-"

"hey hey- you listened to me, i listen to you... " karma responded. nagisa turned fully towards the red head- the stiffness figure throughout nagisa's body relaxed.

"i've been questioning myself recently."

"you think you like a guy?" karma's cheek sulked as he rested his face upon his hand.

"i- i just don't know if i do.. i've never even thought dating a guy was an option for me." nagisa hugged his own arm. "i've never dated anyone- my mom never allowed me to date- i always had to focus on studying and looks. so i never gave it a thought. but now i'm just- i.. i

"let me guess that all your life you've liked girls- or at least- you've been told to like girls... so you aren't sure whether you actually like girls and are lying about this one boy, or if those feelings are genuine?" karma tilted his head. nagisa's eyes stared like a dead soul towards karma. 

"what's that blank face nagisa! come on!" he laughed more "am i right?" karma's stuck my tongue out slightly. nagisa nodded.

"i don't understand." he mumbled. "how do i know that this feeling towards boys are genuine though?" his eyes flickered around the room, nervousness bit his bottom lip. "it's completely different to anything i've felt before. so is this what love feels like... or am i lying to myself? or what if-"

"hey, nagi." karma folded his arms. "almost everyone who has doubted their sexuality has been in that position you've been in: i bet even those bastards sitting in the room downstairs have right? isogai and maehara? yada?' he sighed "it took me a while- i realised if someone comes along- and i like them. i act upon it. it doesn't matter what gender they are." the red headed teen looked back directly at him. "it takes time. this isn't something you will figure out in a day. it's okay to experiment" karma playfully kicked his legs.

nagisa closed his eyes tightly. "it seriously feels like something is wrong with me-" his face wrinkled

"blueberry- seriously you need to relax more. you think there's something wrong with liking a guy?" karma watched nagisa tense, hugging his arms which tightened around his own body, the short bluenette sat on the bed diagonal to the seat karma was in. "what's wrong with it?" karma added. "are you going to tell me i'm wrong for dating a guy in the past?" he tilted his head. "chief, if someone is telling you that it's wrong- then they're wrong. do you want me to beat their ass? " karma cracked his knuckles before placing his hand against the side of his face.

nagisa chuckled "thats okay..." his eyes dodged the red head,"how do i know..." nagisa quietly babbled. "how can i know if this is genuine though...".

a smirk spread across the red head's face. " well i wouldn't mind...". karma commented, lifting nagisa's chin slightly, their eyes met each other before his heart struck with throbbing pain. he hesitated. "never mind" karma's face flustered, causing the ringing in his ears to pulsate. as soon as their eyes met, karma's vision blurred, a stabbing pain pierced through the heart, causing every organ to pound against his ribs.

nagisa's stared towards karma's burrning face. he admired every part of him, before cupping his cheeks in his hands. "karma " nagisa's voice hummed. karma snapped out of his daze, staring into the warm atmosphere. "you were spacing off." nagisa softly chimed. karma closed his eyes before meeting nagisa's once more. those eyes. those azure eyes they cared, gently soothing the fiery golden ones sparkling in their reflection. a look that karma have never been given before. 

"do you need time? i can leave if you need me to-" he asked.

"stop being this fucking perfect person. stop being so concerned about me nagisa.." karma sulked, turning away from the bluenette.

"well i'm sorry for being concerned about a friend!"

"there you go again." karma rolled his eyes leaning back.

"what are you talking about? is caring about a friend that bad?" nagisa's eyebrows squeezed his eyes.

"you're acting like that conversation we just had meant nothing to you!" karma crossed his legs, picking at his nails.

"karma i don't understa-"

"of course you don't." karma sighed. "it's obvious we both know this whole friend thing is bullshit! his teeth gritted. "and that's what hurts- the fact that we both know you like me! you think that i'm some idiot?" nails dragged into his thighs. "i know i am- you don't have to remind me... i hurt others too easy, hurting those around me whether it's mentally or physically. and loving you- i- never want to hurt you like i did with my last relationship. you helped me, and you deserve so much more than what i've done for you. i don't want to see darkness haunt you yet that's all that i will bring."

the room reeked with silence.

"k-karma... i'm sorry but you're wrong. i don't think you've realised how much you've done for me... you've pulled me out of pain." nagisa placed his hand on karma's. "you pulled me out of my darkest time, you never questioned it, you helped me so much, and when you saw things were getting bad again... you cared more than anyone else has. no one would do that to a normal friend, you're not a monster karma... i mean you and i? you're the best thing that has happened to me.. and you're different than anyone i've ever met."

karma peeked a grin "...so you're admitting that i'm the boy?" he raised an eyebrow.

"isn't it obvious?" he laughed. "well-"

"well- what?" karma asked

nagisa's hands fidgeted "of course you're the boy. ever since meeting you for the first time, there was this connection that i never understood. something was different about you. but are these feelings too soon? you probably don't feel ready to be with someone like me."

"oh come on nagisa-" karma tutted.

"i understand that you probably don't want to be with someone who you've only just met in real life." nagisa fidgeted. "i don't deserve someone as perfect as you-"

"hey listen.."

nagisa continued to mumble, his eyes dodging the red head's "and although you might say you like me i don't think you'd ever want to spend the rest of your life with m-"

karma kissed him, after placing his hand under his chin, lifting his head. their lips touched as karma moved his hands to caress against the side of his face. nagisa froze still, he leaned back slightly, eyes widening before they broke away. nagisa's own lips met the back of his hand.

karma stuttered, his hands covering his eyes. "shit.. that was more embarrassing than i thought it would be." his face flustered.

"d-don't say that you're going to make me embarrassed." nagisa hesitated, his cheeks tinting, facing away.

"well at least now you're listening." karma laughed, chuckling while continuing to look down. "well i think that contradicts what you're saying chief.." karma raised an eyebrow, unable to wipe the smile off his face.

"karma?" nagisa repeated once more, hesitancy hooked his voice.

"hmm?" karma asked.

"do that again..." nagisa mumbled.

"you sure about that?" karma pushed the chair he was sitting on back to the wall.

"y-you said experiment with people- didn't you? i want to know what kissing you felt like again." nagisa looked away. "i'm almost definite that i'm at least into guys and just if we kiss again i can prove th-"

karma suddenly turned nagisa's head, kissing him once more .although only a couple seconds passed, hours ticked by in the boys' minds. karma passed his hand through the bluenette's hair, karma felt a smile form on nagisa's face: the blue haired teen broke the kiss, burying his head into the crevice of karmas neck. karma's hand softly touched nagisa's hair- his rapid heartbeat pulsated through his body. a smirk sneaked onto his face. "you doing okay there blueberry?"

he nodded, mumbling into the red heads neck, his breath caressing his skin. "a- are you okay?"

"i'm fine." karma mumbled. "i just forgot how much fun this was."

"you forgot?" nagisa turned his head slightly, putting his arms around karma's shoulders.

"so did that prove your theory?" karma interrupted. nagisa looked to the side, turning his head before sitting up, not quite making eye contact. karma chuckled, raising his hand to meet his chin, turning his head so that his azure eyes looked into his "or do you need more data?" karma asked before smirking, kissing him gently on the cheek: playfully he kissed the bluenette's neck, heavy breathing dancing on his skin.

a loud knock pulsated through the door as they froze: 

"shit"


	13. kidnapped

"hey, karma, nagisa? are you in there?" a female voice echoed. karma headed towards the door, he opened it, leaning on the door frame, somewhat sulking.

"we heard shouting- are you two okay?." okuda asked, other girls' mumbles were recognisable from behind her. "karma, i'm glad to see you're okay."

"so.. what do you girls want?" karma leaned his head upon the frame.

"you know the local winter festival?" kataoka asked. "we're wondering if you wanted to join us to attend." she smiled.

"hey nagi- what do you want to do?" karma looked over to the bluenette.

"sure- if it'll be fun." he smiled, taking his messy hair down, falling onto his shoulders.

"listen up.." nakamura signaled for the girls to come closer. muttering and whispering passed along them followed by a suspicious smile.

"nagisa... can we borrow you?" they smirked.

".. errr, i guess?" his face flurried with confusion. they burst into the room, snatching the unprepared teen by the wrist.

they pulled him along the halls of the house, shouting back to the room. "karma, meet at 3pm downstairs. we will bring him with us." nakamura grinned as karma watched nagisa get dragged along, he was hunched over laughing. "tell the others, wear something appropriate!" she shouted.

"can someone tell me what's going on..." nagisa sighed, watching the girls exchange glances, he loosened himself from their grasp, freezing in the hallway.

"you'll see" nakamura teased. "kaede come with me... toka, megu.. go get his outfit. yukiko, go to my suitcase, grab a little bag located in the side pocket. rinka, can you get something for his hair?" she ordered. they separated. the bluenette was launched into a chair as he sat down in one of the guest rooms.

"someone please tell me why you have kidnapped me." nagisa raised an eyebrow, nakamura's body towered over the blue haired boy. " i mean come on- you could have at least done it properly.

"sorry nagisa." kayano reassured "we just wanted to dress you up for the festival."

"wha- i never agreed to this!" nagisa's face wrinkled.

"sorry.." kayano bowed.

"you see, you never did your punishment for the first video- so if it's okay.. i want to do that now." nakamura clenched her teeth in a sceptical smile.

"i don't really think i have a choice." he raised an eyebrow, sighing.

"i'll be right back" nakamura slipped out of the door, it locked behind her as nagisa sulked towards kayano.

"i'm so sorry nagisa." kayano apologised further.

"it's fine, kaede. i don't mind, as long as you're having fun." he gathered his hair back, tying it into a low ponytail.

"nagisa-" kayanos voice startled him, his head slowly turned towards the green haired girl, who folded her arms, a grin plastered onto her face, "what went down when you were in karma's room?"

"i..."

"are you two together?" she enthusiastically clapped

"we're- erm.. ." nagisa stuttered.

"i never would have thought you were interested in-." she smirked.

"kaede- please stop." nagisa buried his face into hands. "please don't make a big deal out of this-"

"so you guys are a thing- huh? i'd doubt you'd go into a person's room, whom you are not dating...and make out with them. and if that's not the case then you must have some interesting story of why your neck has marks."

nagisa's face blankly looked at the green haired teen. "er-kaede?"

"yeah?" she responded enthusiastically.

"didn't we kiss when we were never dating?" he chuckled.

she paused as stiff as a board. "that's a different matter!" she rapidly mumbled, "what's going on with you two then!"

nagisa looked down at his hands, eyes tracing turquoise veins beneath his skin. "sorry kaede, i have no idea myself."

"do you like him?" her voice softened.

nagisa scratched the back of his neck. "yes?" he hesitated. "we like each other- it's just it's all sudden. it's new: we only just confessed our feelings. we need to rethink things over." he chuckled. "i thought i was lying to myself about liking karma.. after all i never thought about liking boys, and you know karma- he's the type of person who could get any girl he wanted. so i didn't know it was love.. i thought it was just because he's so.. so hot? is hot the right word?" he covered his blushing face "i don't know!" nagisa mumbled. "it's just when we kissed for the first time, it felt much different- so i asked him to kiss me a second time, and that really proved that- i..so yes.. i like him- but i just figured this out.. so it's all confusing."

"so you like him... but you don't know where you're standing with each other." she smiled, grabbing some concealer. "it's fine, take your time to figure you two out. when you're ready, feel free to come by and tell me." she applied makeup onto his neck. "if rio sees these, she will make fun of you more than she already does."

"thanks.. kaede." nagisa sighed happily. "please don't say anything to the others- i don't want this to be public"

"that's fine with me."


	14. the kiss of a firework

the festival hummed with excitement as nagisa gently blew the foam of his hot chocolate to the sides of the cup, which was firmly placed between his hands. the blue haired teen smiled softly before taking a sip. karma treated everyone to refreshments, and they had fun around the stalls for around an hour before the group scattered into the rumbling atmosphere.. the girls mostly went to buy accessories, itona wanted to record the festival from a drone, floating in the air. chiba and hayami went straight for the shooting range as expected, isogai and maehara did a couple more games, sugino desperately tryed to impress his own fiancée, but nagisa and karma? both had different plans.

"hey nagisa." karma turned to face the bluenette. "why don't we take a walk?"

nagisa nodded, as karma dragged him away from the lights as darkness camouflaged them, he turned to cherish the bluenette's erratic eyes, yet left with a distrustful response, "you seem uneasy, you good there chief? you know a little bit of darkness won't hurt anyone."

"i'm fine..." nagisa reassured. "just normally people mistake me for girl in the dark- and it is not a pretty sight when walking through city streets." his mouth escaped a sigh. "It's terrifying."

"here. take my hand then." karma smiled. nagisa hesitated before karma raised an eyebrow. they locked fingers while hiking between languid, coarse trees. karma squeezed nagisa's hand tighter "i know a spot overlooking the festival up ahead, i think we should head there." cracks of twigs beneath their feet disguised the noise of explosive laugher and chatter lingering behind them. the red head ducked under drooping branches, as he plowed foliage out of the way, he eventually revealed the ecstatic scenery.

the festival was astir. vines hung from branches which formed a slanted canopy above them. leaves scattered on the floor, burnt twigs were painted with charcoal. lights stringed between the trees. karma walked to the edge of the cliff, hair drifting in the frigid wind. a smile was weakly glued onto his face as he watched the roaring life, his eyes smiled too, as he admired the atmosphere below, people buzzing with excitement like busy bees in the hive. karma was their queen.

nagisa admired the red head in front of him turn, golden eyes looking down upon him. "you're the first person to come here with me since i graduated" karma stated, sitting on a log close to the edge. "i come here when i want to get away from parents, people, or just life in general- i guess. if i've had a bad day, i can just come here. i just sit on the edge cliff watching everyone pass by below, it's somewhat fun. they're like puny little insects that you can crush." karma chuckled.

nagisa sat next to him, "why did you take me here then?" nagisa muttered. " you wanted to talk to me.. didn't you?" he asked. "about- well... us?"

"i want to ask you- where are you standing with things chief?"

"well.. i've only just come to terms that i'm into.. i'm into guys? ah that's weird to say. and karma, the first kiss felt so surreal? but the second time- i knew that it wasn't just a one time feeling."

"ah so you kissed me again as you wanted to make sure that it was genuine."

"yeah" nagisa placed his hands between his knees, looking down at them. "you see well- the thing is, i don't know how you feel- but i- i don't know how to say this but-." the bluenette stuttered, his heart was pounding within his chest. he didn't understand why it was so difficult to let the words stumble out of his mouth "i-"

"i love you too." karma smirked, looking over towards nagisa. who's eyes swelled, his hesitant hands moving towards his face. the blushing bluenette buried his face is his hands. karma couldn't help but erupt into laughter. "nagisa-" karma snickered as he brushed hair out of the boy's face. "nagi-nagisa!" he repeated, continuing to laugh.

"i wasn't expecting you to actually say that!" nagisa's voice muffled in his hands.

karma snickered, nagisa never looked up as the friendly laughs projected towards the blunette faded."so i guess you don't love me then huh?" karma frowned sarcastically.

"hold on one second!" nagisa's voice suppressed into his hands, chuckling until his cheeks burned. he sat up, hair falling into his face.

"and after all this time i thought there was something special between us, i guess not?" karma moved some strands of hair behind nagisa's ear.

nagisa smiled hesitantly, nails sinking into the palm of his hand, he temporized before words blustered out of his mouth. "i've never felt this way to anyone else before- this is all just new, and despite the fact that ive never dated anyone before, karma. i- i don't want to be your friend."

"is this your way of asking me to be your boyfriend?"

"yes- maybe? i- i mean i-"

karma lifted nagisa's chin, smiling.

an eruption of fireworks exploded in the distance. their lips met. time stopped just for the two of them, as they tasted bitter sweetness of affection, distant fireworks painted up the night sky with sparkling rainbows of colour. the boys' foreheads touched softly, their eyes too. karma's voice turned into soft whispers, gently brushing against nagisa's skin. "to answer that question of yours, nagisa. i brought you here... because i never want my memories with you to fade. and out of all of my memories spent on this cliff, i want the most important memory to be here too- the beginning of my life with you, with you as my boyfriend." he smiled, head turning towards the midnight murky darkness as another firework erupted into colour. "i guess sometimes life is like a firework, we may struggle at first to ignite, and we will need a little help, but those struggles lead to great things. we incline on happy thoughts and memories and we feel like we are on top of the world, but it never stays that way, and we explode into the darkness, we face the true nature of the world, the pitch black corners of life. not everything is as happy as it once seemed, we all forget the light which once highlighted our lives. however, to be honest. i want to keep the firework lit, nagisa. i never want to forget you, i never want those sparks to fade like they once did. i want my life to continue just like this. you're my spark.

i'm stupid. i feel like a bastard saying this- what am i even doing, all to say that ill be your boyfriend? i-"

"so.. you're okay with it?" nagisa mustered.

"well what words don't you understand, 'i.ll', 'be', 'your' or 'boyfriend'? karma simpered.

nagisa's eyes expanded, the blue haired boy's body launched onto karma, throwing his hands around the red heads,' neck. nagisa filled with tears as he hugged him, burying his head into his shoulder, karma's warm body cradling him. he could feel karma's heart thud against his ribs. karma chuckled, arms barricading over nagisa's body, bringing him in close

nagisa raised his head, karma wiped the tears forming in his eyes. "i- if its okay, i don't want to tell any of the others about... us."

"that's fine with me." karma smiled, cupping nagisa's face in his hands

"i just don't want the media to know, and i don't want my mother finding out..." nagisa grinned with a small chuckle.

"hey what's so funny?" karma grilled.

"i never thought i would ever see you being so soft" nagisa bit his tongue trying to trap the laugher escaping his mouth.

"don't you dare say another word or i will beat your ass" the red head smirked, bringing his face closer to the blunette.

"oh i'd like to see you try" nagisa raised an eyebrow, sharing the smirk which was also glued onto karma's face.

"i hate you so much, blueberry." he grinned, rolling his golden eyes, dulled by the atmosphere. a voice echoed within the forest behind the two boys. karma sighed biting his lip. "shit- of course- the others are probably looking for us." nagisa's arms, which were hugging around karma's neck, broke free from the grasp as the red head stood up. karma held out his hand to help nagisa stand up from the log, they made their way back into the concealing forest.

"i love you too... strawberry." the bluenette smiled under his lips.


	15. lights, camera, fire

nagisa hummed along to the radio, the sizzle of the stove was like a sweet tune. the luscious scent of pancakes filled the room.

the red head draped into the room, rubbing his eyes, "nagisa... what are you doing?" he mumbled as a yawn escaped his mouth, he dragged his feet along the cold floor.

"just making pancakes for when everyone wakes up." he responded. "they had a rough night last night"

"you look cute." karma smiled, his hands slithered around the bluenette's waist, slowly leaning from side to side. "how long have you been up?" his arms crawling onto nagisa's shoulders, his body draping onto him.

"maybe an hour or two?" nagisa hummed to the music softly.

karma kissed his cheek, "you were up early.." he mumbled. his head became heavier on nagisa's shoulder.

the bluenette sighed. "karma.. i can't cook if you're clinging onto me like that."

"i don't care..."karma rested his head to the side. "since when could you cook?" he smirked, soft breathing tickling the other boy's skin.

"i cook all of my own meals, i don't trust anyone to make food anymore, so i guess i just take the wheel." nagisa shrugged, peaking a smile while singing along to the radio again, karma's monotone knackered tone hummed in harmony.

"karma, if you're tired just go back to sleep."

"it's lonely without you." he clutched nagisa's hand, twisting the blue haired teen around to face him. nagisa's cheeks blushed a feint pink as, karma tilted the blunette's head upwards, nagisa meeting his drowsy eyes. they swayed, harmonising along to the radio: slow dancing in the middle of the kitchen. the sun glistened between the curtains, a spotlight shining upon them. the feint ticking of the clock echoed, karma held nagisa close. the bluenette's hair leaned against his boyfriend's chest, listening to his heart thump rapidly. a smile never escaped nagisa's face, he looked up towards his boyfriend, karma's eyes were almost golden in the reflection of the rising sun.

flames erupted behind nagisa, a burning smell suffocated the room.

"shit- " karma panicked.

"language!" nagisa shouted.

"don't say that at a time like this!" karma laughed, rushing to open the windows, letting fresh air choke the smoke.

"what do i do- what do i do!" nagisa panicked, hands were shaking as he turned the stove off. he snapped a cloth, waving it frantically towards the smoke, grabbing the handle of the pan, lobbing it into the sink. everything finally became to a standstill as the smoke slowly simmered out the room. life became silent except for the feint chirp of early-morning birds as they caught their breaths. thunderous drums were coherent from upstairs.

"i'm blaming you." nagisa laughed.

"me? what did i do?" karma jumped up onto the kitchen counter, his legs dangling.

"you distracted me!" nagisa complained, laughing slightly.

"i'll take you out to dinner sometime to make up for it ey? how does that so-"

"what's going on..." isogai interrupted after stumbling downstairs, glancing at the boys' mischievous smiles. "what is that smell-"

"it's all okay, don't worry about it cowlick" karma laughed, jumping off the counter. taking the burnt pancakes, throwing them into the garbage.

"sorry to wake you so early- we got everything under control... okay we might have burned a couple-" nagisa scratched his neck. "but I made pancakes... feel free to dig in." he grabbed the plate.

"did someone say pancakes?" maehara licked his lips, playfully putting his arm around isogai, kissing the side of his head. the boys eagerly sat at the kitchen counter, maehara twirled a knife between his fingers, his head slouched in his hand. isogai lowered the blonde's arm, "i love you and all hiroto, but i don't think anyone trusts you with that knife."

karma snickered from the opposite end of the counter as nagisa put a plate onto the middle of them.

"this looks so good!" maehara smiled, drool almost dripping out of his mouth "since when were you the type to cook?"

"if I'm honest- i'm not great at cooking- i can do basic meals; i'm no expert like karma... or isogai... i'm just scared for other people to cook for me."

"y- you're scared?" isogai questioned.

"in middle school, my mother drugged my food- i'm not going to go into details but- that's the basics of it." he hesitated. "ever since then- i cook for myself."

karma spat out his drink.. "she did what-"

"is she crazy or something?" maehara picked his jaw up from the counter.

"hey guys what was the shouti- ooh pancakes?" sugino interrupted.

"hey tomohito, s-sorry if the shouting woke you up" nagisa apologised.

"it's okay... yukiko and i were awake anyway.. and most people are still hung over from yesterday so i don't imagine they'd be awake any time soon."

"i still don't believe that as soon as we got home they all started drinking until they passed out." nagisa laughed to himself.

"says you! mr. i - got - drunk - on- the - first - day " karma teased raising an eyebrow.

"no way- nagisa?" maehara admired he bluenette before leaning back on his chair. "you know for some reason i always imagined that you'd be someone who doesn't drink."

after returning from the forest, they lingered at the festival for a couple hours longer, until boredom struck and they trailed back home. during the evening despite their fatigue faces, the alcohol came out, resulting in many drinking games.

"hey sugino, could i ask a question?." maehara leaned over isogai, grabbing some honey. "i'm just curious."

"sure, go ahead." he responded, looking up from his phone as he scrambled to put food onto his plate.

"why doesn't the media know about your engagement?" maehara asked. "your friends are the only people who know right? why are you keeping it quiet to the world?"

"well- my coach doesn't want personal relationships to be in the way of how fans see the player. kind of ridiculous but i understand why. if there are rumours about any romantic life, fans will focus on that more than the games."

nagisa met karma's eyes, a laugh slipped out of his lips. "sorry- sorry" he mustered. "but doesn't it gets suspicious though?-" the teen questioned.

"oh definitely." sugino clenched his fist with a grin.

"you are still young too... didn't you have to get parents permission?" maehara asked.

"yeah that was terrifying to do." he scratched his neck.

"wait tomohito- you said kanzaki was awake, where is she?" nagisa asked as he raised his eyebrow.

"she jumped into the shower as she has a tournament soon, so she's preparing for that." he answered

nagisa clicked his fingers, 'oh right, she mentioned it yesterday! the gaming tournament, i hope she does well."

"if you can ask sugino, can i ask you, maehara?" karma tilted his head blithely

"sure-" maehara replied, "go ahead."

"how's mitsu doing?"

"oh- she's doing well, at my parent's right now, they insisted they take care of her while we were at karma's place. i honestly think that they wanted to spend christmas with her."

"wait who- who is mitsu?" nagisa tilted his head.

"she's my daughter-"

sugino almost choked on his drink, slamming his hand on his chest "sorry- what?"

maehara erupted into laughter as isogai snickered softly, pushing his plate forward as his head rested feebly on his arms. "yeah- most people just think she's my sister when she appears in my videos." the blonde continued.

"oh- i've seen her- sugino pointed his fork towards him. "she looks so much like you- no wonder why people think she's your sister."

"parenthood huh?" nagisa shrugged as his eyebrow raised. "that must be rough."

"next time we meet, bring her along. i want to meet her." sugino brightly smiled. "we should all get together in a couple of months, grab some dinner. it'll be great to see everyone again."

"never mind the future, what is the plan for today?" maehara asked, munching on small pieces of pancake.

"just filming and editing, relaxing day today i think." karma leaned back on his chair. "we can't do much if everyone is hung over."

"that sounds good to me." maehara licked his lips. "hey- yuuma are yo-" maehara poked isogai slopped next to him. "yuuma? are you okay?"

isogai jittered up, "sorry yeah i'm fine" he slowly exhaled before shaking his head. "so-why don't we do something in the evening?" isogai proposed. "like.. a movie night?"

"that's a great idea! are you guys up for it? karma, is that okay?" sugino gaily asked.

"that's fine with me." karma grinded down onto his fork, gritting it in between his teeth.

"oh i used all the milk," nagisa grabbed an empty carton "i'll go grab some later and we can make hot chocolates, it is christmas eve tomorrow after all."

"tomorrow? wow that's flown by." maehara chuckled

"we can all go to town together, we can grab some snacks for the movie too." sugino grinned. "oh then why don't we go while yukiko is streaming? so we don't interrupt her."

"that's a good idea- we can see who is awake by then." nagisa chuckled, tearing off a piece of pancake. "i'm surprised kaede, isn't awake yet, she didn't drink last night did she?"

"that short stack filled up on pudding though, completely went through the month long supply." karma laughed.

"wait lets write a list down" nagisa scurried to grab a piece of paper, scribbling down notes. "so we will grab some pudding too."


	16. surprise

"karma we're leaving in five minutes" nagisa peered into the main room

karma threw the blanket over his head as a groan sighed across the room. "mhm- i'll be right there." the blanket cuddled his chest and neck.

"i told you you should have gone back to sleep earlier, you're tired now aren't you?" nagisa sighed. "karma you need to get up now." he folded his arms, tapping his foot repetitively..."if you get up now... then i'll kiss you." he smirked.

karma grinned scurrying to uncover his body from the comfort of the sofa, "you should have said that earlier." his grin stretched across his face as the blanket wrapped around the red heads foot. he plummeted face first onto the floor. nagisa gargled, erupting into laughter while watching his boyfriend sulk, karma's face wrinkled while watching his feet swing in the air.

nagisa held his stomach. the bluenette strode along the room towards the red head, who was hanging upside-down, nagisa looked over him, hair blinding his eyes as a single finger tickled karma's palm, moving his hand to interlock with his own. "this will do i guess" the blue haired teen chuckled, kissing the upside down boyfriend before him. "but now you need to get up, everyone's waiting."

"hey- you son of a bitch!" karma shook his head, stretching his arm towards nagisa.

"if you want it back, then get going." nagisa smirked... teasing as he stuck his tongue out. after wandering into the hallway, nagisa pinched nakamura's s sleeve, dragging her behind everyone. "please can you keep karma distracted for me?" he pleaded. "don't ask why, i just need you to go in an opposite direction."

"sure-" she grinned; confused eyebrow scrunching her forehead.

"what are you nibbling on?" sugino asked, tilting his head.

"oh a sweet." nagisa smiled, revealing a hard sweet clenched between his teeth. 

"i thought karma ran out of those?" kayano raised an eyebrow. "he said he wanted to buy some more. then he put it in his mouth right before he draped over the sofa. "

nagisa smirked, tapping the side of his head. "i just stole that last one from him"

"how did you stea-" kaede paused for a second. "oh- you didn't..." she chuckled. "so that's how you convinced him to get up?"

"in a way" the bluenette shrugged. "i'm just honestly surprised it worked."

"i'm here, i'm here." karma interrupted, floundering into the room.

nagisa smiled, opening his mouth, revealing it to be empty. karma glared over to his boyfriend. "you're buying me more." 

nagisa snickered, "fine."

"let's go then" isogai tugged on the laces on his boots, standing up with a smile. he was the definition of a prince. a turtleneck jumper blanketed his neck. a necklace with a ring engraved with his boyfriend name hung down to his chest, maehara held out his hand to interlock fingers with him, a blazer-like coat flowed whenever the brunette walked. "i left a note in the kitchen for the others who are still asleep." he smiled faultlessly.

as they headed into the bitter winter wind, the air grazed nagisa's knees through ripped jeans as he snuggled into his knitted jumper. the sun was still warm on their backs, yet the pungent wind pricket their noses as the rocks of the driveway crunched under their feet.

it was a rather short work before small town shops stood before them. the group excitedly scrambled, their breaths nuzzling on glass windows. eyes sparkled as they admired objects perfectly placed on small shelves and silk rags.

"karma, karma!" nakamura called the redhead over, he sighed, grabbing onto his scarf, dragging himself along the street. "lets go in here." the blonde suggested.

"but- why me." he grumbled with a yawn.

"come on it'll be fun!" she smiled, pushing him into the corner shop. her head peered out the door, winking towards the bluenette who was chuckling at the expressive blonde.

"tomohito, kaede." nagisa suddenly announced. "can you come with me, i'll explain later, we don't have much time before karma's boredom returns and he will come finding me."

they agreed as nagisa hauled them through the town decorated with christmas lights, stringing from houses.. he scurried through the town, leading them towards the waterfront.

"nagisa- slow down!" the athletic superstar placed his hand on the bluenette's shoulder. "tell us what's going on." he smiled. nagisa's breathing highlighted the winter wind.

"i need to get-" nagisa panted. "party supplies."

"party supplies?" kayano repeated.

"for karma." he added. "its his birthday on friday"

"why didn't you tell us earlier!" kaede grabbed nagisa's hand, pulling him along, her poncho glided in the wind.

"i was with karma all day there was no other chance to say anything!" nagisa chuckled as they sheltered the frosty air into a store. "karma has never celebrated his birthday so i wanted it to be a surprise for him!"

"i'm sorry- he's never celebrated his birthday?" sugino frowned.

"he was always alone, and when his parents were home they devoted it to christmas. he never really minded, and doesn't like telling people his birthday cause he doesn't like to make a big deal out of it.. but i want to do something special with all of us here."

"nagisa-" kayano turned. "can i ask about before... are you two..?"

"us two?" nagisa repeated he hesitated "oh- erm.. well.. we are- yes..."

kayano threw her hands around her friends shoulders, shaking him around vigorously. " i knew it!"

"can either of you tell me what's going on?" sugino chuckled.

"they're dating!" kayano excitedly jumped.

"nagisa and karma?" he raised an eyebrow

"yes!" she smiled. "have you told anyone else yet? who asked who? how long for? did you-"

"woah woah!" nagisa backed away. "hold on give me a second. you two are the only ones who know and i'm begging that you keep it that way. karma and i agreed to keep it private for now, especially until social media calms down and until i get a chance to tell my parents- they don't even know i like guys." he sighed.

"got you. don't worry about it." sugino ruffled his friends hair. "congrats by the way." teeth clenched into a smile.

"thanks.. tomohito."

"sorry nagisa. seriously i'm happy for you." kayano scratched the side of her face with a single finger. "ahh.. come on, we need to get these decorations and fast."

"shit. i-i... i'll give nakamura a text to try and keep karma there for a little bit longer." nagisa stuttered. as they rushed towards a large isle filled with decorations, in which they chucked a lot of party poppers, streamers, party hats and balloons into basket. all they needed now was one more thing: a cake.


	17. shelter from the game

"i can't believe it started raining down on us!" maehara wailed, taking the jacket off his head, everyone rushed into the house, shaking of rain which dropped from their noses.

karma shook his red hair as it fell into his face, he tossed his own shirt off while squeezing it dry before hanging his jacket up.

"you're finally back." terasaka grumbled.

"so nagisa- you really are a guy." itona stated as the bluenette handed his shirt to karma, shaking his jumper as the water flickered into the air.

"that should have been obvious from the beginning." he replied with a hesitant chuckle

"but when you get dressed up and we can't tell your gender it does get suspicious." he nodded his head, the others echo in agreement.

"come on boys, go put some clothes on." kataoka sighed.

"aww come on kataoka- were not breaking any rules" karma stuck out his tongue.

yada frowned. "yes but it's unfair that we can't take our shirts off freely you know."

itona bluntly mumbled , "i mean no one is stopping y-"

"itona-you better think of what you are saying right now." terasaka sighed as the room erupted into laughter. "and don't you act all innocent!" his eyes caught a blonde in the corner of his eye, "nakamura what are you-"

"he's right, no one is stopping me from taking my shirt off." she smiled. "relax if these boys can't control themselves around a girl in a bra then that's their problem. if yada can, i'm sure you can too."

karma rested his chin on the kitchen counter with a suspicious grin, "so what did you grab for snacks?"

"popcorn, a different array of sweets, pretty much every junk food taboot."  
kayano replied as karma opened the popcorn packet, flinging a piece into the air and catching it into his mouth.

"so- why don't we start setting up?" kataoka smiled, looking around to everyone. "just everyone go get changed, put on something comfortable" crossed her arms, smiling.

"just stay quiet, yukiko is almost done but she's not finished." sugino scratched his neck as they scurried upstairs.

everyone slowly reunited back in the lounge as they all built a child's dream, setting up with computers, blankets and pillows, all scattered around a screen. a colossal fortress of fluffy cushions. isogai and kataoka both prepared snacks in the kitchen while nagisa and kayano handed out coffee, tea and hot chocolate.

"karma keep still- stop making this difficult." nakamura complained, pulling karma's hand closer, crossing her legs as she dipped the brush back into the ash black nail polish.

"at least be happy i'm letting you do it, i was going to do them myself." karma grouched while sitting across from her. his hair exposed his forehead, parted to the right. he blew the air out of his eyes, which were glittering in rose red eyeshadow, fading to a crimson, highlights faded with a gold, reflecting his mercury eyes.

"you're ridiculous." nakamura teased with a smirk. "you could stab a hoe with these nails."

"i'll stab you in a second."

"dare you bit-"

"yukiko!" kayano excitedly waved to her friend as she entered the room. sugino rushed up to her, sweeping the black haired beauty off her feet twirling her around before letting her toes meet the floor once more, meeting with a small kiss.

"how did it go?" sugino excitedly asked.

"i qualified for the championships next year." she smiled.

"i'm so proud!" sugino hugged her as congratulations echoed around the room, she tilted her head with a tinted blush spreading across her cheeks.

"well done kanzaki!" nagisa handed her a hot chocolate.

"thanks nagisa."

"we're just relaxing at the minute, we've been in town all morning and we're doing a movie later." the bluenette responded, twirling back round to the kitchen.

"why don't we film something?" maehara called across the room. "i mean we're just laying around anyway. but we're gonna have to be quick, the sun will set soon."

"but what are we filming?" karma asked.

"anyone got any suggestions?"nakamura butted in. "i swear karma- stop moving around." she pulled his hand into the lamp, casting blue onto his hand.

"what are you doing?" nagisa asked, curiosty peeked closer to the duo.

"acrylic nails." karma sighed. "i was going to do them myself but someone insisted that they do it."

"did you do his makeup too?" nagisa asked, squatting down.

"no way, karma's much better at makeup than me. heck his eyeliner is so sharp it could kill a man. i don't understand how he's so natural at it."

"what? like its supposed to be hard?" karma smirked uncovering his sharp canines.

"oh! hey since we've been doing vlogs lately lets go for a challenge- something like who's most likely to?" kataoka suggested.

"oooh good idea- shall we ask twitter for questions?" yada asked, scrolling through his phone, her head hanging upside-down off the sofa. "we can wait for those two to be done and set everything up." she pointed over to the partners in crime perched at the table on the floor.

・・・★ ・・・

lights blared at everyone's faces, they sat in a semicircle around cameras before they erupted into excitement.

"hey guys! it's red devil- so we're back with another challenge video- and today we have who's most likely to- so earlier- these guys wrote some 'who's most likely to's' that you guys suggested to us, and we put them into this jar." he shook a glass jar before scraping it across the table. "and we all have pieces of paper, once one is read aloud we will choose who we think is most likely to do that thing. understand? good. if not, i don't care. itona, you can start."

the white haired boy placed his hand in the jar, unfolding the small piece of paper tangled around his fingers.

"who's most likely- to get expelled." itona mumbled.

the blonde exploded with laughter.. "i think this answer is clear." nakamura leaned backwards.

itona smirked, "oh definitely."

everyone turned their paper around, karma's name stained on the front.

"of course its me... i did get expelled- end of my second year" he chuckled. "okay but out of everyone else- who would you guys choose?"

"i'd go with terasaka." itona smiled suspiciously. "either way, the school would benefit without him being there."

"you bastard." terasaka grumbled, as itona stuck out his tongue, the white haired boy's golden eyes clenching shut.

"right who's next- why don't we go youngest to oldest- huh." karma sneered.

"i feel targeted." terasaka rolled his eyes.

"that's because you are." itona murmured. "hey don't blame us that you were born in april."

"hey yukiko, you're next correct? you're born at the start of march." nakamura tapped her

"right, she replied, leaning towards the jar, "who's most likely to cry during a movie that wasn't sad." she declared as the room buzzed with thought, paper rattled as everyone exchanged glances.

"you ready?" karma asked. "three, two, one..."

mixtures of names flashed up including sugino, kayano and nagisa.

"i guess none of us are really the crying type." karma flicked his nail, shuffling his papers. "okay maybe nagisa."

"i'm right here!" nagisa called.

"sorry hun-" nakamura placed a hand on his shoulder. "you're a cancer. it's kind of your thing."

"i-i don't cry too much, do i?" he looked around the group frantically.

karma snickered. "you cried over your own music."

nagisa sighed, "oh come on- you agreed it was sad too!"

"yes but not the fact that the microphone was too high." the red head chuckled.

"why did you put kaede?" yada interrupted as she leaned towards nagisa who was sitting in front of her, peeking at his sheet of paper.

the blue haired teen scratched his neck, his azure eyes looking into hers as he leaned back "i-i've just seen her cry over pudding... so."

"and karma is attacking you for crying over a microphone?" she smiled. "damn." 

"karma- your turn!" kayano suddenly mustered.

"hold up- karma's the third youngest?" terasaka scoffed.

"you didn't know?" maehara smiled. "he was born at the end of december-

karma shuffled the pieces of paper, picking up one as he chuckled, " oh jeeze, who's most likely to... get away with murder." the countdown echoed around the room as everyone's papers were revealed. karma's name dotted on everyone- except one person.

"nagisa? why did you put nagisa?" terasaka leaned back, poking karma's sheet of paper.

"exactly. you don't expect it, do you? that sweet, innocent smile definitely can hide secrets, and i feel like he'd be talented enough to get away with a kill." karma smirked, his chin raising. "oh and also he tried to kill me."

"i did not-" nagisa chuckled. 

"well you pinned me to the sand about to kill me, drowning me in the ocean." karma tutted

"you pulled me into the water after i tried to help you!" he wailed. "it's called revenge!"

karma raised his eyebrow. "yes. in other words... a failed attempt of murder."

"i was never trying to kill you!"

"your eyes said otherwise. while you pinned me to the fucking sand giving a stare of bloodlust, i was definitely going to die."

"t-that's just my face!" he flailed his arms. "i- i just love you too much to kill you." the bluenette muttered quietly, sulking in his seat.

"....i have no idea whats going on, but not gonna lie that sounds pretty gay." nakamura blurted out before she erupted into laughter.

"you want me to get away with actual murder?" karma cracked his nuckles, turning to the blonde. "i'll do it myself." 

"karma you're literally gay." she tilted her head. "sit down."

maehara stuttered... "i just put karma because of how much he likes blood..." maehara stared at his paper as the conflict unfolded before them. "hey guys!" his voice raised. "maybe we should get back to the game?" 

the partners in crime sulked in their seats as isogai tapped his boyfriends shoulder slowly.

karma tilted the jar towards the blonde."december sixth, it's you." the redhead grinned.

"this cannot be a coincidence." maehara laughed as he read the paper aloud. "who's most likely to hook up with a random stranger."

everyone burst out laughing as nakamura immediately pointed maehara's name towards the camera. her hair fell into her face as her hand covered her mouth, trapping her laughter in. the teen hung his head in shame, isogai sarcastically comforted him.

"isogaiii. your turn." nakamura called, pushing the jar towards him, the brown haired teen stared at the table.

"yuuma?" maehara repeated, tapping him gently.

"sorry-" isogai snapped out of his daze, planting his hand into the jar.

"who's most likely to spontaneously move to a different country." he murmured. his eyebrows raised, throwing the scrap piece of paper onto the table, his hand dropping dead to his side.

"right- three, two, one." karma announced as the group twizzled around their answers. "so we have me.. rio ooh."

"i said karma primarily on the fact that he can speak a couple languages." nagisa shrugged, mingling his papers.

"wait how many languages can you speak?" maehara asked resting his head in his hands.

"i'm only fluent in a couple, japanese and english- obviously." his eyes met the ceiling. "i was forced to learn french so i'm fluent in that. and i know a couple bits and pieces from scattered countries that i picked up from travelling all the time, mostly european languages.

"i put rio because of language too." yada tightened her ponytail.

"well i spend most of my time in england anyway." she leaned back. "i was visiting japan for the holidays and i don't know how i found myself in this collab-" the blonde laughed. "next round- hey manami- it's you."

"me?" she perked up, moving her mauve hair out of her face.

questions got flung at everyone until the winter sky dimmed. as the night crept on the group, the video concluded, everyone scattered as they bounced to the main lounge, everyone scurrying for spots around the screen.

"what are we watching then?" terasaka slumped onto the sofa. "hey nagisa, grab the snacks from the counter."

"sure- anyone want me to get anything else while i'm here?"

"and turn the lights off!" terasaka called." nagisa stumbled to the light switch as the darkness saturated the light, everyone's faces illuminated by the screen, eyes glowing like cats in the night.

"hey- where is maehara and isogai?" nagisa asked, looking towards the midnight black corridor.

"they went to their room i think. isogai said he wasn't feeling too great." the baseball star shrugged.

"should we wait for them?" nagisa nibbled his tongue.

"maehara is with him, they'll be okay." sugino sighed as he caressed kanzaki's hair, who was leaning upon his shoulder. nagisa wriggled to the group. while placing the bowl on the table, he furtively felt karma's hand wrap around his wrist. peering towards him, the screen was barely brightening his face, but a smirk creeped between his ears. his hand travelled down to nagisa's fingers as he tugged the bluenette next to him.

"so..." karma sighed. he snatched the remote from terasaka, skimming through the selections. "what are we watching then?"


	18. drowsy drawings

nakamura snickered, dragging the blanket as she uncovered the bluenette who soundlessly dozed within karma's arms. the room stirred, as eyes peered towards karma and nagisa. a few glances from spectators wandered over to the group, yet they stuffed their business into illuminating phones and books. everyone chortled, hands their mouths, resisting bursting out laughing as ink smudged on the duo's pale skin.

"hey, shut up you idiot, you're going to wake them up!" terasaka growled, nudging the blonde next to her.

"me? you're the one being loud!" she responded, gritting her teeth.

"both of you, quieten down." maehara chuckled softly, grabbing a marker, placing the cap into his mouth, gritting it between his teeth. he began doodling on nagisa's cheek, as they began laughing. inadequately attempting to stay quiet.

"he looks so peaceful." itona mumbled, poking nagisa's arm.

nakamura opened her phone, flashing an array of pictures. "i can't wait to use these for later" she snickered. "they look so cute. come on i think we have an otp here."

"would nagisa even be interested in karma?" chiba questioned, blankly, watching the group while shaking the pen rigorously. handing it to itona next to him.

"oh i have no idea!" kayano scratched her neck, her eyes dodging everyone as she elbowed the muscular toned boy next to her.

"mhm- none at all." sugino joined in as kanzaki chuckled next to them.

"you guys went to school with him, didn't you?" kataoka questioned. "what was nagisa like?"

"in middle school- he was- never believing in himself or his abilities. he was self conscious and didn't feel in control of his life." kayano stroked her arm, hugging it close. "he used to call me in the middle of the night crying because of how much he hated how he looked, he was so close to just giving up ..but he always apologised even if it wasn't his fault. to anyone else, he never complained about anything- he just tried to suck it up. despite all this, he was truly different than anyone i've ever seen. there was something different about him. yet i've never been able to put my finger on it."

"so i have a question." maehara whispered with the pen lid cap between his teeth. "i might be just dumb but-"

"well that's easy. you are dumb." itona peered over towards the blonde "next.".

"i'm not that dumb! stop treating me like kaminari from my hero" maehara scoffed before mumbling between the grit in his teeth. "i swear just because we look alike- anyways...if nagisa hates how long his hair is, why can't he just cut it?"

sugino scratched his neck- "you see his mom always wanted a girl- as a kid she never had the chance to dress up and had to devote her time to learning, she gave nagisa the childhood that she never had and pushed that onto him, forcing him to keep his hair long and cross-dress constantly."

"why do I feel bad for joking about that stuff now..." nakamura pulled the marker away from their skin.

"he doesn't mind the teasing- fortunately he's permitted to cut it when moves out- so that's why he's working so hard to get a place of his own." kayano assured.

"so has nagisa ever dated anyone before?" yada questioned.

"nope, his mother pressured him to focus on grades that she never got, so nagisa never gave relationships a thought. " kayano scraped her arm. "m-maybe as he's started distancing himself from who he was, so he's starting to realise relationships are an option."

"are you talking about when you asked if he had a crush? he was totally blushing. no denying it." yada folded her arms.

maehara coughed jokingly, nipping on her clothes, before he acknowledged kataoka, hovering at the back of the group. "so talking about crushes..."

"you know what i hate you so much." yada repetitively hit the blonde, as he started snickering.

"i'm pretty sure karma's got a small crush our blue haired friend here." nakamura smiled, doodling on the red head's arm.

"karma? really?" chiba drifted around them, watching the rest of them adding designs onto their sleeping limbs.

terasaka nodded. "hey how come you never tease the others about their relationships?" 

"crushes are way more fun." nakamura lingered near karma's hand, her pen hovering above their violet veins. "and- okay lets adress the couples in the room then-i mean isogai is literally perfect, there's nothing really to tease him about, he just takes everything as a compliment." nakamura responded, her eyes rolling into her skull. "and maehara? well he's maehara. no offence but i literally watched you walk into a pole."

"none taken..." maehara gritted his teeth grumbling.

"and come on, sugino and yukiko." she swung her head backwards, a grin peeked onto her face, "they just make each other so happy- there's nothing really to tease them about either-"

"so speaking about relationships-" itona pointed to the duo, "what about those two though, you never say anything about them."

"wait- you two are dating?" maehara jolted his head between the duo. "i knew you made videos together- but is he serious?"

"i mean yeah, obviously." hayami muttered bluntly.

kayano stuttered-"well- just then how come we have never known? " her face scrunched. "how long for?"

chiba looked over to her, "three years."

"ahah well that makes sense only thr- hold up three years?!" maehara's jaw dropped."what?!"

"we've been dating since the beginning of high school." chiba noted.

"you two just." nakamura hesitated." there's absolutely no difference in how you act around each other-"

"well why should we act different?" hayami hesitated. "he's still ryu to me."

"okay that's kind of sweet." nakamura clenched her teeth in a smile. as she turned around, karma abruptly shuffled, causing the blonde to wail back in surprise.

" i'm TOTALLY going to be the one to wake them up." terasaka clicked his tongue, heading over to the kitchen. "see" he pointed towards the couch. 

nagisa scratched his eyes, letting his hair fall into his face, his eyes squinting gratingly.

"... morning- nagisa." nakamura crawled away from the sofa, jostling as she clasped onto sugino's leg.

"hey hey why are you using me as a shield!" the baseball star threw his arms up.

"i-i dont know you've known him for a long time maybe he wouldn't attack you!" she gazed towards him, sticking her tongue out "and to an extent i hoped you wouldn't notice."

"not noticing using me as a human shield?!" sugino clamped her arm, dragging the blonde to her feet "he's not gonna attack anyone- he's only scary when he doesn't realise how scary he is."

"what's going on?" the blue haired teen rubbed his eyes, watching the ink on his arms smear. "hey...what have you guys done...?" he asked, scurrying his body, tumbling forwards as the blanket constricted his body. he crashed onto the floor.

"you fell asleep during the movie." nakamura flung her pen. "so we got bored and tested how long it would be before you and your boyfriend here would wake up."

" he's not my boyfr-"nagisa sulked, his neck sinking into his body as the blunette's shoulders raised. the azure eyes glared at the floor before grabbing the blanket, throwing it onto nakamura who was plotted next to him, as he stomped over to the bathroom.

"oh shoot- that's not a good face..." sugino wandered backwards,"someone's woken up on the wrong side of the ... couch?''

kayano raised her eyebrow hesitantly- "i'm more scared of what karma is going to say when he sees that nagisa-"

"what's this about nagisa?" karma's croaky voice rung around the room, their eye's widened. "go on.." his voice deeply hummed, draping with tiredness, his eyes squinting at the ink on his skin. " tell me- i dare you. " the red head smirked, his hair blanketing his face, knuckles popping..


	19. karma on ice

"is that too tight?" karma tugged on the shoelaces of nagisa's skating boot.

"no its perfect, thanks karu." nagisa sniffled, the cold rink tingled their noses as karma, grabbed the bluenette's hand, pulling him up. nagisa fell forward, his head hitting the red heads chest. karma grinned before brushing nagisas hair out of his eyes, tugging him towards the rink.

"ahh it's so cold!" nakamura wailed. as a frigid winter shiver flushed through the room.

"you're the one who wanted to go skating." karma shrugged, marching onto the ice, the bluenette peered around the entrance. "so don't be the one complaining about how cold it is."

after karma casually murdered the group, they spent the morning scurrying through boxes, decorating the house with glistening decorations as christmas music vibrated through the halls, the girls danced merrily before the idea of ice skating perked the squad's interest. karma rolled his eyes and agreed: as karma was not a huge fan of christmas, he thought it would be a better idea than everyone forcing him into a santa hat.

"well it was just an idea- i wasn't expecting us to actually go." nakamura laughed. "i'm sorry but no normal person just causally owns a skating rink. i thought it being christmas eve, everywhere would be closed but then you magically mention that you own this place!"

"well chief, i also own private jets, properties over the world, and have a cinema and game room inside of my own house. only idiots would think it's surprising for me to own this place." karma skidded to the side, glimpsing towards a blue haired boy who withdrew from the rink, nagisa slouched on the bench, with his cheeks sandwiched between his hands.

"hey nagi- what's up?" the red head peeked off the rink.

the blunette felt his body shiver, he let out a small smile. nagisa's imagination bounced restlessly but he tried to conceal his wandering mind. he couldn't stop playing thoughts in his head about what could go wrong tomorrow, "i-i'm okay, don't worry." nagisa stuttered.

"drag out whatever's on your mind or you'll stay sad for the rest of your life. come on, skate with me."

"i can't skate."

"your point?" karma smirked. "i can. just hold onto me. don't you dare fucking drag me down though." karma led his boyfriend towards the rink, hesitantly drifting onto the ice. nagisa's weak ankles slipped a couple times: his grip tightened around karma's wrists as the red head gently skated backwards, smiling as they glided along. karma sped up, releasing nagisa's pink tinted, frostbitten hands from his grasp.

"t-that's not fair!" nagisa laughed, stumbling forwards while slipping on the ice. desperately trying to regain balance.

"hey, was that a laugh?" karma grinned. "i'm taking that as a laugh! nothing is fair hun, welcome to life." he teased, drifting along the ice, skates abrading the surface. the noise echoed around the arena, scratching that deep itch in your ear. as karma elegantly swirled, he naturally danced, abruptly twisting into an axel.

nagisa's eyes shimmered, bursting with life. his azure eyes admired the redhead land the move sublimely. "that was- incredible." he murmured, finding a smile permanently stuck onto nagisa's face.

"fuck-" karma blurted out as he trailed to the edge, his leg dragging behind.

"alright mister showoff!" terasaka called from the other side of the rink. "we get it! you're good." he rolled his eyes, ogling into the back of his skull.

"hey karma you okay?" nakamura asked, gently skating by while watching karma shake his leg.

"i'm fine- don't get too concerned." he laughed. "i was just seeing if i could still do it- but my leg's only just healed, and putting so much pressure onto it really strained everything." karma shook his head, smacking his cheeks while snapping himself out of the painful daze. his face peeked into a smirk, skating over to terasaka at full speed. he came to an instantaneous hault, scraping the ice with the blade, causing stinging shards to scatter over terasaka's lower body.

"you son of a bitc-" terasaka yelled, leaning forwards to grab the redhead who swiftly scurried away. only to find himself tumbling forward.

"karma, wasn't that a bit over the top?" sugino chuckled as he helped his fiancée onto the ice. karma skated back around the rink towards his blue-eyed boyfriend, tugging his eye towards terasaka.

"perhaps you may be more muscular than me, terasaka. but on ice, even after injuries, i have the advantage." he looked back, smiling smugly. "you're wobbling like jelly on a plate there chief" he mocked.

"how come you can skate so well?" nagisa asked.

"i had lessons when i was younger. my parents thought i'd be the next hanyu yuzuru... but i never had any interest in the slightest." karma responded, nibbling on his tongue, "come on." he held out his hand to grab the bluenette's wrist.

"can we get some music in here?" nakamura swung on the walls.

"we could do that." karma responded. "they control the music up there" his arm pointed towards a hovering room above the rink, which peeked over the skaters. "take your skates off beforehand, don't want you breaking anything- or yourself."

"aww you care about me." nakamura skated slowly by.

"i hate you." karma sarcastically laughed. "i'll head up with you to show how the system works." the red head turned to nagisa, "sorry nagi-"

"that's okay." nagisa grinned, watching karma glide over to the exit, as another blonde caught his eye. "oh maehara- where's isogai?"

"he's still not feeling great, so he's sat down in the café area over-" maehara's face dropped, "there..." he peeked over to his boyfriend through the plastic, the brunette's head laid within his arms, his body folded on the table. isogai's back rose every time he deeply exhaled, a whimper slid through his lips as air suddenly suffocated through his throat. "hey... yuuma." maehara glided across the rink, stumbling off the edge. his shin snatched on the corner. as he shrieked in pain. teeth piercing his lip. "hey- yuuma, are - fuck- are you okay...?" he mumbled, grabbing his leg in pain. "your hair is quivering- stop hiding this."

"hiding this?" sugino questioned, his voice resonating from near the entrance, as he floundered off the ice, "what's going on?" more eyes began stabbing the scene, as nagisa followed his best friend off the rink. 

"his hair is quivering... that's never a good sign- you can usually tell how he's feeling in his hair-." maehara dragged himself towards the brunette. brushing loose strands behind isogai's ear.

"hey isogai-" nagisa muttered, his face shriveled with concern.

"hey- put your head up yuuma." the blonde turned the teens head up, maehara gulped before meeting isogai's drowsy golden eyes. isogai finally sat up, yet his hair crept in his face, he stared towards the table.

"are you feeling okay?" kataoka asked, standing up from fixing her ice skate. isogai looked up to her, his face quivering white.

"i-isogai can you hear me." nagisa repeated, his hand reaching out towards the teen. yet isogai trembled off the chair, his eyes quivering.

"yuuma- you're not okay-." maehara tried snatching his wrist, yet isogai faltered from maehara's grasp. "please lay down."

"i told you before, hiroto..." he bluntly turned towards his boyfriend. "i'm fi-" he tumbled forward, maehara's hand tightened around his wrist, as isogai collapsed. his body dragged into the blonde. maehara lowered him slowly to the ground, resting his head onto his knee.

"someone without skates on- go get karma from upstairs. now." maehara ordered, his hand somewhat trembling. "i don't care how many people you alarm, scream for all i care, the more the merrier." he unbuttoned isogai's shirt, loosening the strangling material before shaking him vigorously. "we just need karma aware of what's going on." his voice tremored.

"right- i'll go." chiba skidded through the corridor.

"check his pulse and breathing. are they both still stable?" kataoka knelt down near the boys.

maehara sighed a wave of relief. "yes."

"okay- that's good. keep him laying down for a while. as long as he's still breathing we're good- and should gain consciousness soon."

"fucking hell'.. you really scared me yu." maehara sighed, brushing isogai's hair back to expose his forehead.

"he really hasn't been feeling well lately, has he?"nagisa addressed.

"the thing is, i have no idea what's going on..." the blonde sighed. "hey can someone make a sugary drink? just juice- anything really."

"i'm on it!" sugino called, rushing into the small kitchen.

maehara's face brightened as isogai stirred, "hey yuuma can you hear me?" he smiled, "you just passed out for a couple seconds-hey hey don't try to get up-" the blonde hesitated. isogai's hand raised to his head, fingers blocking his squinting eyes.

karma stumbled down the ramp, "i see he's woken up then chief."

maehara slowly raised his head, leaning isogai on his own chest, legs barricading either side. maehara comforted him while sugino handed isogai the drink, he sipped through the straw, dazing around the room.

"hey- isogai are you okay to talk- or do you need time?" kataoka handed maehara a blanket, the blonde threw it around them, his hands wrapping around the brunettes waist. 

isogai's eyes were shakey, as they met the arena floor. his tongue was dry and twisted, swolen in his mouth. "everything is okay.." he mumbled. "i can talk- sorry for making anyone worry- i was trying not to pass out, i could barely hear you- let alone muster up energy to respond."

"at least you're talking now." karma smiled."seems like your body just needed to shut down for a couple seconds."

kataoka blinked back towards him. "so- what's been going on?"

isogai dithered. "...i-i don't know- so much has been on my mind. i can't think straight. i think just- i'm worried about what's happening back home.. with everyone. my siblings- my mom- even mitsu."

"and are you worried because her condition has got worse recently?" maehara asked, stroking his hand through his chocolate brown hair.

"yeah..." isogai sipped onto his drink. "i don't know how to afford the payment at the minute- i'm struggling on options."

"payment?" okuda tilted her head. "what for?"

isogai dodged the group, as his golden eyes stared up to maehara, who eventually intervened- "aeh his mom has been sick ever since he was a kid- yuuma had to take over with getting money and hence had a job since middle school. and along with mitsu- and his siblings- i think it's all getting to him."

"so this sickness... it's all caused by stress?" karma asked.

"you haven't been eating correctly recently either- so i imagine that it has contributed to it" nagisa added. 

"i'd say so." maehara kissed his boyfriends head.

"i'm sorry everyone." isogai sighed, watching the drink swirl in his hands. "i haven't really took care of myself- it's all my fault."

"don't apologise-" terasaka complained.. "you're sounding just like nagisa-"

"i can hear you." nagisa mumbled through his gritted teeth. "call back home- do whatever you want to assure yourself everything is okay." the bluenette suggested, watching karma slump on the floor with them. " you're going to be home soon- don't let these last days go to waste from worry."

"nagi is right." karma smiled. "you guys are leaving soon anyways- you can see them all soon."

nagisa's face plummeted. realisation smashed into him. they're leaving soon. and that mean he's going to have to say goodbye to karma soon... if so, what's going to happen... between karma and him?


End file.
